Serving You the News in Brief

Published February 20, 2007

By Max Bookman

“We did an extremely vast array of tests.”

– Anna Nicole Smith’s medical examiner on the DNA samples taken from her body, as three people claim to be the father of her 5-month-old daughter, Dannielynn. The late ex-Playboy model’s body is being refrigerated until a variety of legal disputes can be resolved, including who has the right to bury her, and who will inherit her multi-million-dollar estate.

“I don’t like gay people and I don’t like to be around gay people. I’m homophobic.”

– Former NBA star Tim Hardaway in an anti-gay rant during a radio interview. This comes one week after former player John Amaechi made an NBA first by stepping out of the closet. Although he later issued an apology, Hardaway was removed from a series of public appearances for the NBA.

“Her head is completely shaved. It looks terrible.”

– A Britney Spears fan commenting on the singer’s newest hairstyle. Bald Britney was spotted with the haircut at an LA tattoo parlor. Now she has a trashy look to match her sloppy panty-less outings with Paris Hilton.

“I think there are some excellent downhill skiing areas there.”

– Harrison Schmitt, a member of the 1972 Apollo 17 crew, said of the Moon. Schmitt addressed scientists assembled in San Francisco on February 17th about the optimal mode of lunar transportation: skiing. “On the moon, in the main you don’t slide, you glide above the surface. But again, you use the same kind of rhythm, with a toe push.” Because the moon has 1/16th the Earth’s gravity, lunar pioneers would not need skis, but “poles would be nice to have for stability,” Schmitt added.

“This is the choice: More war or less war.”

– Democratic Majority Leader Harry Reid told the Senate February 17th before a vote to discuss Bush’s 21,500 troop surge in Iraq. The Democrats (and seven Republicans who voted with them) fell four votes short of the 60 needed to pass the motion opposing the surge. February 16th the House passed a motion criticizing Bush’s surge 246 to 182.

Print This Article

Comments