Why Use Ruffies When You Can Go Organic?

Published February 20, 2007

By Julie Bilodeau

Are you experiencing sexual anxiety? Let’s put an end to that. With the use of any of the following aphrodesiacs you can ensure a night of sexual relations for you and your dinner guest. All of these foods are so potent that your guest is unlikely to know what has hit them — unless they’ve read this article — and even then, they won’t be able to keep their britches on.

AVOCADOS got their name from the Aztec, meaning “testicle tree.” The sensuous texture of the avocado is known to invoke sexual fantasies. $0.99 each.

BANANAS resemble a particular organ found on male bodies. They not only erect sexual thoughts but are also rich in potassium and Vitamin B, two neccessities in sex hormone production. $1.79/lb.

PINEAPPLES are rich in Vitamin C and have been used in homeopathic treatment for impotence. They are also known to infuse one’s vagina with a sweet and sultry scent. $5.99/each.

FIGS resemble both ovaries and testicles. A man breaking open a fig and eating it in front of his lover is a powerfully erotic act. $4.95/lb.

PINE NUTS in addition to their alluring name also help to maintain male potency. $11.99/lb.

*All items priced at City Market (Burlington)

Get it on Guacamole:

• 2 Avocados
• 1 Tomato
• 1 Onion
• Several shimmies of salt
• 3 pokes of pepper
• 1 squirt of lemon juice

Cup the supple avocados in left hand and slice carefully, chop onion and tomato. Bang all above ingredients together. Bring on sexy time.

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