Matchmaking with Rogozinski

Published February 27, 2007

Attention all wannabe thugs! Becky Sue is a happy-go-lucky girl who will show you a great time as long as you can satisfy her cocaine addiction. She is running pretty low on cash so with Thirsty Thursday around the corner you should consider pursuing Becky Sue with a gram or two. Becky Sue is 5′3″ with blonde hair and green eyes. When she isn’t in class, Becky Sue likes to walk up and down Church Street as she smokes a pack of cigarettes.Becky loves to party all night, and she doesn’t eat much so you don’t need to worry about the whole dating thing. Interested? Call Becky Sue at 555-7499!

Single ladies put on your push-up bra and try not to salivate! The gorgeous Rich Toolman III has just recently broken up with his latest flavor of the week and is on the hunt for his next. Rich enjoys flipping his collar, Chinese food, Coors Light, and assures you he will use a condom. As a proud member of a fraternity, Rich doesn’t ever party anywhere but his white house on Main Street, so be prepared to shadow him as he plays beirut in the basement of his castle. Man of your dreams? Call 555-4653!

Trudi Horesfeld is a sophomore at UVM. She’s never has a boyfriend before and is currently looking for someone to be exclusive with. She likes going to Stowe, reading under her favorite tree on central campus, and rolling on Mali at Disco Biscuits shows. Trudi loves to be romanced, so a tip is to take her to the infamous Three Tomatoes, especially if you’re hoping to get some by the end of the night. Sound like a good time? Call 555-3739!

Hunter Bobesfelt is a loveable guy from the nearby state of New Hampshire. He is a psychology major here at UVM. During his free time Hunter climbs trees, plays his guitar, and smokes dank headies. You can spot Hunter at Full Tank or Northern Lights on any given Sunday afternoon. Beware of his brutal stench, however, because he hasn’t showered since the start of the semester. A word of advice is to always be sure to recycle in his presence if you don’t want to be strangled with his knitting thread! Want a date with Hunter? Call 555-7437!

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