On Blacking Out

Published February 27, 2007

By Elias Altman

A friend recently turned to me, sighed and said, “I think I’m due for a blackout tonight.” It was a windy Friday and we were huddled outside the library talking about our plans for the night. At the time, I laughed and agreed that the week had been rough. But afterwards, I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said.

“Blacking out,” as most college students can explain, refers to a period of memory-loss due to severe intoxication. For a long time, blackouts were considered to be symptoms of a mature alcoholic. Now, though, they are commonplace for young and relatively inexperienced drinkers.

I am well-acquainted with blackouts. I have listened to friends recount their hazy nights the morning-after, unsure of how they ended up at home or not-at-home. I too have blacked-out and played the role of detective as my room becomes a crime scene and I scroll through my phone searching for leads.

Recent studies have shown that heavy-drinking has a much more detrimental effect upon the memory skills of adolescents than adults. In addition, with steady drinking, the younger brain becomes less responsive to a neurotransmitter released during intoxication that induces sleepiness. In other words, the body’s natural defensive mechanism against over-consumption is inhibited: more drinking, more blackouts.

What struck me about my friend’s words was his premeditation. He was seeking much more than a typical alcohol-induced form of escapism, numbing the senses; he wanted to bypass the senses altogether. He wanted to forget something that had not yet happened.

His statement is emblematic of some deep alienation that is specific to our generation, a generation that popularized the ultimate motto of ambivalence: “Whatever.” “Whatever” is apathetic to the core, but it is also a very real way to deflect judgement. It gets us off the hook and allows us to behave without restraint. It allows us, in effect, to black out responsibility.

Young people have always sought altered states and social freedom, but our parents’ generation did not blackout from alcohol like we do. At some point during the heyday of Generation X, blackouts became an accepted part of adolescence.

“Back in my day, we didn’t always drink to get drunk,” our parents lecture. “What’s the point in drinking if you are not going to be drunk?” we shoot back. “What’s a little alcohol when we can have a lot?” the American in us says.

More often than not, blackouts go hand in hand with some form of regret: saying something inappropriate, the unwarranted taking off a shirt, surprising sexual encounters, etc. In any case, blackouts represent a profound challenge to our conception of the self. We sit in gape-mouthed wonder as our friend narrates the night back to us and we feel as if he or she was describing a whole other person.

But that’s just it: it only feels like a different person. Mel Gibson was not a different person when he went on his anti-Semitic DUI tirade. After all, his BAC was only 0.12. Mel would have been goose-stepping and singing “Hail to the Fuhrer” with a few more drinks.

I did not end up seeing my friend that night. The following Monday, he just said that things had gotten “pretty rowdy.” I said that my night had been similar. As I walked away from him, I hoped that he could remember his night. At some point, memories will be the only thing left from college.

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