Seven Day Forecast Brought To You By Tim “I just got dumped” Tempson

Published February 27, 2007

Tuesday, Feb. 27:
Light snow expected — perfect for a solitary stroll with a cigarette and my suicidal thoughts to keep me company.

Wednesday, Feb. 28:
Partly cloudy, which will be nice for staying inside and ripping up old photographs.

Thursday, Mar. 1:
A few rays of sunshine, but I think I’ll just stay in bed and listen to Elliot Smith.

Friday, Mar. 2:
Dark, gray, and cold. I hate my life.

Saturday, Mar. 3:
Rainy. Good day for finding toads killing them to relieve some of my pent-up anger, frustration, and hatred.

Sunday, Mar. 4:
Some snow flakes. Just like on Valentine’s day when she ripped out my heart, put it in a frying pan and ate it.

Tuesday, Feb. 27:
Sunny. It’s nice to see couples kissing down by the waterfront to remind me how I will never love again.

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