By Kesha Ram
When I found out that
Van Jones, my modern-day hero, was actually going to be in the state of Vermont at the end of February, I frantically embarked on a mission to get him to make a stop at UVM.
If you were blessed with the opportunity to see Van speak last Wednesday, you may know what I’m talking about when I call him a hero.
By Nate Bradbury
Part III of a Three Part Series
Two current Supreme Court cases, Jefferson County (Louisville) and School District No.1 (Seattle), pose a threat to the gains of the Civil Rights Movement. Thus, major questions arise about social and racial equality in this country.
If the Supreme Court overturns the historic decision of
Brown v. Board of Education in favor of race-neutral governance, the future looks stormy.
By Kurt Weiss
Why is that when I am supposed the most studious, I am actually the horniest? Something about the library makes me horny – my book is far less interesting to study than the cute girl over by the window. The library can do strange things to people.
By Max C. Bookman
Our Bad: The Water Tower apologizes for a misprint of this article in the printed paper. We stupidly only printed the first half, so please read on here for the full article, it is well worth it.
Try and spin this one, Mr. President: The Taliban controlled government of
Afghanistan had everything to do with September 11th and the Government of Iraq had nothing to do with it. Afghanistan had everything to do with September 11th, and Iraq had nothing to do with it. We invaded both nations, and deposed two oppressive governments. Although conditions in both countries are ripe for spawning anti-American terrorists, we are sending more troops to only one of those countries, the country that had nothing to do with September 11th.
By Nicole Vincent-Roller
World-traveler and idiot extraordinaire, I’ve done my fair share of stupid things while heading out of the US of A. So, to prepare you for your spring break (or make you feel a bit better about not going anywhere), I’m going to share with you just a couple of the dumber things I’ve ever done traveling. Hopefully, you can learn from my mistakes.
Getting Out and Back: Do you know where YOUR passport is?
I was halfway to Logan International Airport and seven hours from the beckoning beaches of Bermuda when my nagging sister asked me …
There are commonplace experiences unique to every period of history. In other words, little activities that were once normal are now unfathomable to us: most great writers before the 20th century rode horseback, the Ancient Greeks rarely climbed stairs and the Romans did not understand the concept of zero.
One unique experience of our generation was the computer game,
the Oregon Trail. This game was mysteriously installed onto the computers of every public elementary school across the country. We all huddled around and waited our turn.
By Rob Booz
I think it’s important you understand this; I am going on spring break with my mother. No, this isn’t some new “yo’mama” joke, nor is it a preface to the hot new Girls Gone Wild: Bates Hotel. I, a twenty-one year old college senior, have opted out of a week of wet t-shirt contests, sandy joints, and Technicolor drinks with little umbrellas and fun names like Buttery Nipple, and Sex on The Beach. Instead, I will be spending my spring break wandering around the quiet halls of the Smithsonian Institute in D.C. with my mother.
Spring break destinations can be paradise for the single college student- the possibility of fraternizing with MTV VJ’s and the promise of exposed flesh are key attractions to those flying solo this break. Such attractions however, do not cater to those involved in monogamous relationships.
This week’s recipe goes out to all you lovers out there. Here’s to accompanying your boo home for the first time to meet the fam.
Everyone sweats that first impression, but remember, if the parents in question have any love for their own child, they are more or less forced to think you must be somewhat normal and interesting. But ties to their offspring and personalities aside, a good impression can be solidified with the appropriate gift.
By Elias Altman
Drugs have always captivated the human imagination: the Sumerians used opium, the Egyptians distilled alcohol and the early Turks drank coffee. These intoxicants were often employed in spiritual practices, like the Native American use of tobacco in shamanistic rites or the ethylene gas-induced trances of the Delphic Oracle.
But in modern Western society, the ritual has long since been divorced from the drug. Thus, all that remains is the potent substance itself, stripped of its once-stated purpose. People just like to “get messed up.” However, over the years, some inquisitive writers have re-approached drugs with the same sensitivity as their predecessors.
By Max C. Bookman
“The rest of the world says, ‘We understand you have an idiot for a president, but why aren’t millions of you in the streets demanding his resignation?’”
–
Cindy Sheehan, antiwar activist and mother of a solider killed in Iraq. She spoke Friday at UVM to an enthusiastic audience. Sheehan gained national attention in 2005 when she camped outside of
President Bush’s ranch in Crawford, Texas for three months, demanding an answer as to why her son was killed.
“He is pro-choice, he is
…
With Love, Emily Watts and Alexis Langer
Happy 25th Anniversary Air Force One!
“When you open a box of white on white Air Force Ones you can hear angels sing.”- Grand Master Chaz
In 1982 while creating a new, revolutionary sneaker, Nike simultaneously produced one of the biggest fashion trends in the last 25 years. The Nike Air Force One sneaker was designed for NBA players, and worn not only by them and their fans, but also by a myriad of Hip-Hop shoe junkies who have in many ways transformed the essence of the shoe game. Initially, the Air Force One was a one-time deal. However, thanks to the genius of the “Three Amigos,” a group of shoe storeowners in B’more, Nike continued Air Force One production and re-released the Air Force One in the mid-1990s.
Created By Anya Brodrick, Torrey Valyou and Tommy Wheeler
This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics. Inspired by
Joseph Kosuth.
11:17 am: Wakes up and puts on Live Phish recording from an October 10th, 2001 show in Madison Square Garden. Attempt is made to recall details of the show while filling bubbler in sink, but attention is drawn to “tripped-out” design imprinted on arms from sleeping on dreadlocks.
What’s the deal with the motion-detecting sensors in the bathroom next to the Waterman Cafe?
I mean, I had to attempt a Crouching Back-Flip just to get a courtesy flush at this place.
And if, God forbid, I should need a little water to cleanse myself, I have to re-enact the latest ecstasy-induced Rave Dance just to turn on the faucet!
Thank you once more, technology. (Canned laughter!!!)
By Ambrose Bierse, Jr.
Taser (noun) — Originating from Greek word Taseropolis, meaning “lightning bolt,” sent by the god Zeus to incapacitate the one who has tasted too much of the fruits of the vine.
Tuesday, March 6th:
Windy, flurries. Good time to hang out with the dudes: beer and NCAA. Just like old times, before that wench ruined my life.
Wednesday March 7th:
Mostly cloudy. Nice night to go to a bar and meet a new girl. Great. End up crying and blabbering about my ex. Sleep alone.
By Jen Nolan
Aries… Reactions the speed of a shooting star will soon be required of you. Don’t waste time thinking or considering your options. The world has no time to wait for you to decide whether or not to purchase those
sexy light-up sneakers.
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