Serving You the News in Brief

Published March 20, 2007

By Max C. Bookman

“Hollywood declares war on Iranians”

-Headline of a popular Iranian newspaper. Iranian officials are outraged with the recent blockbuster, “300,” claiming that the portrayal of the historical Persian defeat is part of a broader strategy to turn the American public against Iran. Sequel to 300: Iran Blows.

“My name and identity were carelessly and recklessly abused by senior government officials.”

-Valerie Plame Wilson, the ex-CIA operative whose name was leaked to the press by Vice President Dick Cheney’s chief of staff I. Scooter Libby. The leak is part of a shady web of political drama that may send Libby and even higher administration officials to jail. Plame Wilson testified before the Senate Friday.

“This war is an offence against God.”

-Rev. Jim Wallis, speaking out against the war in Iraq at a Christian vigil in front of the White House Friday evening. Over 200 were arrested for disobeying police orders to walk past the White House and not stand in front of it. Freedom to protest?

“As of today, there is no simple test for you to say ‘that person is going to become gay.’”

-Arthur Caplan of the University of Pennsylvania Center for Bioethics, commenting on an Evangelical leader’s recent citing of research that may one day lead to the ability to “cure” homosexuality in the womb. Evangelicals are thrilled, gay rights activists are outraged, and the research isn’t even credible, but it does raise some strange moral questions.

“And that’s the beer launching fridge.”

-A North Carolina software engineer after showing off his recent invention. He has outfitted his refrigerator with a mechanical arm that can launch a can of beer through the air to the couch. Dope!

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