The New Devil’s Dictionary Words of the Week
Published March 20, 2007
By Ambrose Bierse, Jr.
Trust Fund: n. An ingenious device used to corrupt a youth without ever having met him.
Car Alarm: n. A clever mechanism used to alert one’s neighbor to the fact that one has sufficient resources to afford it. It is also a paradoxical contraption that provides pleasure to the same neighbor both in its presence and absence: when it goes off the neighbor can rejoice that it is not his car being stolen and he can also rejoice again the sound fades as the stolen car is driven away, since peaceful sleep is imminent.
Vegan: n. One who believes that the best remedy for a guilty conscience is tofu.
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