Tri-Factor: The Young Professor

Published March 20, 2007

Created By Anya Brodrick, Torrey Valyou and Tommy Wheeler
This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics. Inspired by Joseph Kosuth.

A Day in the Life of Professor “just call me “Pete” Lenz

7:38 am: Drives 2001 Subaru Outback station wagon from home in Underhill to Burlington. “Your Vote, Your Voice” bumper sticker on back of car is supposed to imply that the principles of democracy are more important than taking a partisan stance on politics, despite the fact that a staunchly anti-conservative mindset is present.

8:17 am: Cheerfully greets head of Department despite latent contempt. Head of department is well-published, but has recently sold out and started writing “soft material” for intro textbooks. Own book not published yet because “nowadays people don’t want to read in-depth about ideas,” when in actuality book is just too obscure and doesn’t make much sense.

8:32 am: Begins grading papers for intro class. Laments having assigned a two page summary of the readings due to general redundancy of work received. Comments are nominal and vague, limited to either “interesting” or “good job.”

9:28 am: Arrives at classroom in time for intro class. Eager female in front of class asks if the papers are being returned yet and is responded to with an overly involved story about how it takes a long time to get through them all because it is “important to read the essays carefully and then comment extensively.”

9:47 am: Relates course material to marijuana use after having noticed general lethargy and inattentiveness within class. Scattered laughter occurs.

10:55 am: Arrives at riveting 200-level seminar class, which affords ample time to vent convoluted thought processes which sit on the cusp between genius and insane. Attractive female student looks particularly enticing, bringing up momentary mental sequence regarding implications of having sex with students.

12:06 pm: Eats lunch in cluttered office while listening to BBC news. Purchase of Coca-Cola from staff vending machine conflicts with proclaimed distrust of corporations, but is justified instead by being labeled a post-modern experience.

2:00-4:00 pm: Office hours only yield two student visitors, both of which just had maintenance-type questions about distribution requirements. Internet surfing and the occasional grading of a paper continues uninterrupted.

5:27 pm: Returns home and feeds cat “Dharma” which represents Buddhism and pays respect to the early beat generation poets.

6:34 pm: Invites intellectual female friend Anne over for dinner and conversation. Discussion about the sexual revolution of the 1960’s fails to transition into actual sexual openness. Awkward silences are avoided by occasional dialogue with cat.

8:03 pm: Independent film about inner city youth, (which won numerous awards at the Sundance Film Festival) is put on and a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon from Chile is opened. Anne leaves after a third of the bottle is finished with complaints of a headache. Remainder of wine is finished, but with less emphasis on smelling the cork and tasting the complexities of the flavor.

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