Serving You the News in Brief

Published March 27, 2007

By Max C. Bookman

“YouTube has harnessed technology to willfully infringe copyrights on a huge scale.”

-Viacom’s spokesperson in defense of the media conglomerate’s decision to sue Google, the parent company of YouTube. Viacom is claiming billions of dollars in lost profits from their copyrighted videos that appear on YouTube. The outcome of the lawsuit will be most felt by our generation as it will determine the direction of the free Internet and user-generated websites.

“The British government is demanding the immediate and safe return of our people.”

-A statement from the British Ministry of Defense in regard to the fifteen British marines who were captured by the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Naval Corps Friday morning. The Iranians claim the captured British had violated Iranian territorial waters. This comes amid recent escalating tensions between Iran and the Western powers.

“I’ve removed all the chips, all the cookies.”

-Joyce Painter, the mother of a 254 pound 7 year-old. Although she claims that she feeds her son Justin healthy meals on a daily basis, the local department of children’s services says that if he doesn’t start losing weight in two months, they’ll take him away from her.

“August 31, 2008.”

-The deadline for troop withdrawal from Iraq, written into a $124 billion spending bill that was narrowly passed in the House. The Senate is unlikely to pass the bill, (even though the Democratic majority was elected on an antiwar platform) and even if it does, President Bush has promised to veto it. Great.

“When you look at a mailbox, the resemblance to R2-D2 is too good to pass up.”

-Anita T. Bizzotto, the US Postal Service’s chief marketing officer, speaking about the postal service’s recent replacement of 200 mailboxes around the country with new ones that resemble Star Wars character R2-D2. These weird new mailboxes are to commemorate Star Wars’ thirtieth anniversary.

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