Tri-Factor: The Music Major

Published March 27, 2007

Created By Anya Brodrick, Torrey Valyou and Tommy Wheeler
This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates
the intersection of image-word-mathematics. Inspired by Joseph Kosuth.

A Day in the Life of
Annabelle Lockclear

9:32 am: Wakes up and is
immediately disgusted. Recalls how
much of an asshole the conductor
was last night. Chuckles at the
thought of the old joke: what’s
the difference between a bull
and an orchestra…the bull has
the horns in front and the
asshole in back
9:57 am: Puts on rare
early Miles Davis recording,
marveling at the chaotic
improvisational solos, which
somehow coalesce into musical genius.
10:08 am: Spends 8 minutes staring
into mirror perfecting “jazz face” in which lips
are curled down on the sides and nose is scrunched,
creating a look of “cool indifference.”
10:16 am: Realization of own narcissism is
justified by the fact that playing arpeggios in 5/8 time is harder than playing a
B-flat scale in 4/4 time, even though no one really cares.
10:58 am: Attends creative writing class. Attempt is made to compare someone’s essay to music through
some confusing extended metaphor about how “the writing had a stream of consciousness reminiscent of Ornette
Coleman’s early avant-garde material.”
12:47 pm: Goes to Southwick Music Hall to hang out with other music majors. The range of conversation
fluctuates between complaining about the pitch problems of a violin and the pitch problems of a viola.
2:02 pm: Attends music theory class and debate ensues as to whether musicians should conform and make
music more palatable for their listeners. Stoners insist that long space-out guitar solos are cooler than your typical
pop song, which everyone secretly likes.
3:24 pm: Friend Charles is caught humming a rendition of a recent Justin Timberlake song. Recalls dance-off
with preppy boy at last weekend’s party – JT has no lyrical stability but his 4/4 time signature is pretty apt.
4:38 pm: Jams with friends on the Live Music Hall. Contempt for the myriad unskilled guitarists and the
undiscerning, drugged out hippie chicks who flock around them.
5:00 pm Begin practice session – fusion band is underappreciated and has not yet been discovered. Actual
finished material amounts to 2 original songs and one cover.
7:42 pm: Goes to “The Bean” to check out jazz band which “grooves really hard.” “Jazz face” is employed
during solos with occasional spastic head movements during the “nastiest part of the groove.”
11:06pm-4:32am: Cigarette smoking and fanatical practicing proceed uninterrupted into wee hours of
the morning re-enforcing stigma of troubled prodigy musicians.

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