My Shitty Bracket

Published April 3, 2007

By Seth Corthell

March is a month that means a lot of things, but most importantly it means March Madness! Every March on opening Thursday I’m as giddy as a child on Christmas, as I get to take part in my second favorite American tradition, high stakes gambling!

This year, as in years past, I analyzed and studied harder than I did for any of my classes, all in pursuit of the glorious perfect bracket, and one thousand dollars.

Another tournament has come and gone, and once again I received the proverbial lump of coal in my NCAA stocking. If there’s one thing we all agree on, it’s that the tournament is a nerve-racking time, for both players and fans, specifically the fans who bet their livelihoods on it. For strictly educational purposes, I have highlighted some of the games that I feel exemplify the ups and downs (they’re mostly downs) of my 2007 NCAA tournament experience.
Maryland 82 Davidson 70, My pick: Maryland- Nothing like starting out on a winning note, confidence level high, currently scanning eBay for one thousand dollar lock of Britney Spears’ hair. Record: 1-0

Boston College 84 Texas Tech 75, My Pick: Texas Tech- A tough first lost to swallow, but hey not that bad, it could have gone either way. Confidence is still high, on the phone with my stockbroker discussing future investment opportunities. Record: 2-1

Butler 57 ODU 46, Washington St 70 Oral Roberts 54, My Picks: ODU and Oral Roberts- A crushing blow on the first day, how could ESPN lead me wrong? Confidence dwindling. 12 beers deep and writing hate mail to Jay Bilas, Digger Phelps, Dicky V, and the rest of ESPN. Record: 4-4.

Indiana 70 Gonzaga 57, My Pick: Indiana- A strong finish to a so-so day. Tomorrow will be a new day. The alcohol’s made me so confident I decide to call Sol, my bookie, and double my wagers. Record: 12-4

Day Two
Virginia 84 Albany 54, UNLV 67 Georgia Tech 64, My Picks: Albany and Tech- Confidence is lower than Iraq war morale. Argue over the phone with my friend Bud trying to get the 20 bucks that piece of shit owes me. Record: 13-6.

Virginia Tech 54 Illinois 52, My Pick: Illinois- Fuck. Switch to whiskey. Record: figure it out yourself asshole.

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