Tri-Factor: The Drama Major

Published April 3, 2007

Created By Anya Brodrick, Torrey Valyou and Tommy Wheeler
This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates
the intersection of image-word-mathematics. Inspired by Joseph Kosuth.

A Day in the Life of Taloolabelle Martin

9:23 am: Rolls over and dramatically flips comforter aside and gets up out of bed. Make-up from last night’s dress rehearsal is still caked on face and smudged mascara looks rather “heroin chic.”

9:33 am: Glances at cell phone; notices 4 missed calls from obsessive male friend/infrequent “lover” Damien.

9:33 1/2 am: Checks voicemail and listens to message from Damien in which he professes his tragically fruitless love via quote from “Romeo and Juliet.”

9:53 am: Goes to upper-level acting class and is interrupted by teacher during middle of scene because part is being “over-acted and deters from the believability of the character’s hidden objectives.”

11:28 am: Sulks on front steps of Royall Tyler Theatre after having found out that lead role for the spring play went to prettier girl with absolutely no talent. Own talent will remain hopelessly unfound, due to lack of sophistication within small UVM theatre department.

11:29 am: Thoughts of dropping out of school and trying to find work on Broadway are quickly refuted by realization that parents won’t pay bills if not in school.

12:07 pm: Encounter with Damien goes horribly and results in over-exaggerated emotional outburst due to Damien’s lack of sympathy for fact that the “talentless girl” was elected for lead role in play.

12:08 pm: Sense of pleasure felt while reflecting upon contrived and tormented relationship with Damien.

1:26 pm: Skips intro to acting class – acting skills are already fine-tuned and besides, some people are just “born for the stage.”

5:43 pm: Shopping trip to local thrift store yields gaudy dress and tacky red earrings perfect for upcoming “80’s movie star” theme party.

7:03 pm: Comes home to find roommate using “Rent” playbill as a coaster. Stomps into room and slams door, pleased with authenticity of enraged exit.

7:28 pm: Minimalist dinner: black coffee and two pieces of toast.

9:05 pm: Goes to house to hang out with other theater majors. Role playing turns awkward when someone begins “acting” like they hate the girl who got the lead role in the play, when in fact, that is actually true.

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