Top Three Questions Seniors Don’t Want To Be Asked (But Secretly REALLY Want To Be Asked)

Published April 17, 2007

1. “What are you doing after school?” – Those happy few with jobs or grad school admission will flash subdued shit-eating grins and tell you all about it – even though it’s been “a harrowing process” – and the rest will reply (over a pitcher of PBR): “whatever,” “things will work themselves out,” or “I’m just trying to focus on school right now.”2. “How’s the senior thesis going?” No other question could simultaneously provoke extreme disgust and intense self-indulgent pleasure. A long-winded, semi-circuitous explanation about the obscure thesis topic – and the lack of progress – should be expected. These seniors say “thesis” as many times as the rest of us say “like” or “um.”

3. “Are you staying in Burlington this summer?” There are only two answers to this question: an emphatic “Fuck yeah, dude” or an even more emphatic “Are you fucking crazy?”

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