Tri-Factor: The Boarder Bro

Published April 17, 2007

Created By Anya Brodrick, Torrey Valyou and Tommy Wheeler

This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics. Inspired by Joseph Kosuth.

A Day in the Life of Trav O’Connell:

12:34 pm: Wakes up late. Without fresh “pow” at Stowe, there is really no reason to even keep living, much less get up early. Recalls dream about “sicky gnar shralp session.”

1:04 pm: Eats remaining slices from last night’s Meat Lover’s pizza ordered from Leonardo’s as “sick- ass” snowboarding video is watched on Playstation 2. Section of video with “politically conscious rap song” in background and mad 1080’s gets re-winded and viewed for the fortieth time in two days.

1:47 pm: Puts on “chill” brimmed winter hat and does a 360 off front steps in an attempt to console snowboardless existence. Recalls “dope” snow days when hitting the slopes at 6 am even though the life doesn’t start until 7:30 am.

2:04 pm: “Bro” Danny comes over with some “gnarly headies.” Nugget is cool, but smoking inside is not as “ill” as smoking on the “ganjala.”

3:17 pm: Drives Jeep Grand Cherokee to spring sale at Burton Factory. It’s no longer snowing, but baggy camouflage snow pants with hidden stash pockets still look “pretty fat.”

3:43 pm: Drives back in SUV blasting Deftones album. Being a snowboarder from the suburbs and wiping out on the half pipe is really that hardcore.

3:53 pm: Pulls into gas station to purchase tank of gas, power bar, and 3 Redbulls to maintain extreme high-energy lifestyle.

4:03 pm: Puts modified version of “Smuggs” sticker on back of SUV with the “S” and half of the “m” cut off so as to read “nuggs.” “Magic Hat” sticker and parents’ “John Kerry for President” sticker pale in comparison to newly-modified bumper adornment.

4:40 pm: Goes to “Duff Hour” at Three Needs or “The Needs.” Talks about snowboarding.

6:42 pm: Momentary desire to get drunk and do something stupid occurs after viewing of movie “Jackass” in which Steve-O urinates on an electric fence for a full two minutes. Hardcore teenage suburban angst is instead displayed by slamming a “Natty Ice” and calling skiers “gay.”

7:43 pm: Puts on brown “DCShoecompany” skate shoes and rides longboard down to “New World Tortilla.” Bumps into cute, steezed-out skateboarder chick with sideways trucker hat. Consensus is made that “when the season is over, there’s nothin’ left to do but get shitfaced.”

9:15 pm: Gets shitfaced and watches same snowboarding video again.

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