Measuring Up
Published April 25, 2007
24 Comments (at bottom of article)
By Kristin McClaran
Last Tuesday, I asked my best guy friend John if he had ever measured his penis. He told me that any guy who said he had never measured his penis was lying, and that his was about “six, six and a half.”
I was surprised because I’ve come into contact with John’s penis on several drunken occasions, and I remembered it being quite large. I said, “That’s it?” and left John pondering his penis size for the next twenty minutes.
The internet once told me that “the average penis is five and a half inches long when aroused,” and I remember thinking, “That is so fucking small.”
WARNING: FOLLOWING IMAGE NOT WORK-FRIENDLY!!!
But the other day I got a ruler, measured out five and a half inches, and was somewhat impressed. I slid my finger further down to the six and a half inch mark, and was even more impressed. I decided that “six and a half” accurately described John, and that as far as penises go, an inch makes a big difference.
Men have such a complex about penis size. It’s as if self-worth originates in that single organ, as if the penis were a breeding ground for insecurity. I get why - I dislike small penises.
But I’ve slept with the occasional five-incher, and it gets the job done. I would be lying though if I said that my penis of choice was two inches long and half an inch in diameter, and I’d definitely be lying if I said that I’d turn down seven inches for five.
That same Tuesday, I walked out of the library and passed a stampede of sophomore boys. I heard one say, “Dude, I’d titty-fuck the shit out of that girl,” and, “Hell yeah - hey, I railed that chick from Physics so hard last night. It was fuckin’ nuts.” I shook my head and thought about the number of times guys have told me I have nice tits. I thought about the time that John told me I have a flat ass.
It’s not like I don’t understand the fact that we all judge each other by the way we look. But men have an unfair advantage, for some reason they get to judge what they see and hide what they’ve got. Women are left in the dark until we’re making out up against a wall and realize that we don’t feel that promising bulge against our thigh.
Then we know the night is going downhill. We understand that our fantasy of the perfectly thick, straight, and six to seven inch penis has been thrown out the window. Ten minutes later we’re rolling our eyes, staring at the ceiling, and wishing it were all over as a small stump of flesh struggles in vain to thrust its way to the finish line.
I later had to reassure John that his penis was an acceptable size. I told him about the sophomore guys and their absurd comments, and he laughed. I glared at him and envisioned those underclassmen’s penises in a police line up.
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24 Responses to “Measuring Up”
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Thought this was quite humorous. And interesting coming from (holy shit) a real girl. (So tired of penis “enlargement” BS sites).
Every since teens I’ve worried about my size. And I’m at about 6.3 inches. Even when my girlfriend tells me it is big, i’m like, “Of course you’re not gonna say it’s small….”
But whatever. If 5 can do the trick, then what the hell am I sweating? Thanks for the post.
im 13 and my dick is like 6.2 inches is that small?
ha!
what kinda name is ellington?
but wtf. isn’t the girth more important than the length? and you didn’t say a word about thickness.
and also, i was wondering, are penises about as long
(when flaccid) as the ballsack? cause mine isn’t, ans one day i looked up penis on google pictures and i was like “damn, either they have huge balls or tinny penises” so, being someone who’s seen a few close up, i though you would know.
Im 14 and mine is about 6.6 inches so itz only gona gt bigger,hw bout it?
hav u eva given a bj nd if u hav given it 2 different men did u prefes larger or smaller?
um yea my dick is 7.4 inches, and I’m only 14. I notice that a few of the comments are from teens so are we the only ones scared?
I’m 16 and i have an 8 inch dick, and to me it always looks small when i look down at it but girls tell me its really big.
im 5.5 inches im 17 what does that say ? small average or big ? and i was wunderin will it grow any more ?
well, actually, the average penis isnt 5.5inch, if you spend some more time looking, its a bit bigger, more in the 6… to 6.5 mark
ps guys, dont judge your dicks by porn, they use pumps :P
some women find they get more aroused by a bigger penis, but once its in it can be too long, or too thick, and hurt the poor girl especially if your going fast…
did you know that penis size is completely unrelated to size, height, hand or foot size?
im only 165 cms tall, which is very short considering im 17 now…and my penis is 7.3 inch, or 18.6 cm…well over average
Hi i am 24 and my penis size is 5.5. It feel bad, is there any way to increase it more.
Hey, I’m 15 I used to look down and think i was small, I whipped out a tape measure and measured 7.5, i was shocked as i though 7.5 would be like.. huge. Now I’m pretty proud of my size and am currently in the middle of another growth spurt… i hope it doesn’t get too big tho =S I’d hate that. =] It’s all good though.
hey 14 and 13 year old guys if u have that size when i was 15 a had 7.8 and now i am 20 and my size is 11.50 for some girls that have small pussy it hurt but some of then enjoy it. becareful with ur size i have a lot of problem sometime. girl get scare of my size.
I’m a 22 year old male and my penis is is 6 inches long and 3 inches wide, Do females like that?
im 14 and im 9.8 inches
hmm yer i find that hard 2 believe jonathan…
Hi
I only have a 3 inch penis
I am an asian male and I want to no if there are any remedies or ways to increase my size
.
my boyfriend thinks hes small, but hes around 6 or 7 inches long..and ive figured out that the average is just over 5 inches..i told him this but he still feels small, whats up with that, guys are so insecure! most chicks dont find dick sizes impressive, but we do get turned off by guys that go around saying theyre huge, and then are later proven to be small or barely average. just be confident but not cocky, and we’ll screw yea no matter what ur size is. honestly, dont sweat it.
its all about what you can do with it. not about size its about enjoing sex and and as long has you can get in in the hole and move in and out whats the problem.
i have a 2.5 penis i need help to make bigger, anything!
wen i was about 13 i had a 7 inch dick and now im 21 and its 9 and a half inch so dont worry about it
Most men havd insecurities just be yourself. Im a twenty year old male and to be honest i stopped wondering about my penis. The girls can like it or go else where. If they dont like you for who you are then theyre not worth the time