Tri-Factor: The Lady Catamount

Published April 25, 2007

A Day in the Life of Kara Cooper:

5:58 am: Wakes up for daily 6am weight training session with “Paulie” the buff trainer. Not hung-over. Not going to wake and bake.

7:04 am: Feeling of doubt is present after leaving gym as the rest of college experience requires use of brain, not just body. Feeling subsides as thoughts of playoffs takeover.

7: 38 am: Post-practice breakfast includes 5 eggs, 2 bananas, 6 pieces of toast, and 3 protein shakes.

8:54 am: Showers and checks out own toned stomach and supple breasts in mirror before changing from all grey UVM sweat suit into all green UVM sweat suit for first class.

10:21 am: Underestimation of own strength occurs as smaller male friend gets jokingly pushed but actually falls over.

11:34 am: Reluctant to receive free condoms in front of Bailey Howe library due to sexless existence. Early practices put strain on prime late night socializing hours in which people have drunk sex.

12:05 pm: Momentary translation problem occurs as ears are perked by mention of six-pack before realization that conversation is about beer, not abdominal muscles.

1:26 pm: Skinny hipster males prompt observation that bulging calf muscles are larger than those of most men. Admires the contrast between yellow “livestrong” bracelet and tan wrist-athletes are always the first to get
a good tan.

5:02 pm: Afternoon team practice no fun as coach is upset with team’s sloppy ball handling skills and yells, “if you girls don’t buckle down and get disciplined, you can kiss the playoffs goodbye.”

5:55 pm: Post practice bonding occurs as other defensive players on team complain about “how they don’t score any goals, but they are the backbone of the team.”

10:36 pm: Hard appearance somewhat softened before walk to RJ’s as perfectly
centered ponytail is turned into more girlish pigtails.

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