Air Raid

Published September 17, 2007

By Andrew Danger Harris

This isn’t some walk in the park, sister. This is the big show, this is the deep end of the pool, you’re here, but you’re not family. School’s started, and I’m here to rage it. But a couple things first before you’re going to make the jump from pre-gaming in Harris/Millis to a party at a senior’s house.

You’re going to have to earn it. But how are you going to earn it? And earn what? You’re going to have to make me want you to come to my party. That’s right, you have to earn this.

There’s no Facebook invitation to this thing. This is being cool in the real sense — your outfit isn’t going to get you in, and neither is some bad attitude. This is being chill. This is being yourself. This is getting tanked. So tanked you’re not going to remember how to get off my street. Heck, you might even end up in a tub having some future student body president taking care of you when you’re a freshman… it’s good, trust me, and I want it for you too.

See, we’re seniors. We’ve earned it. I’ve earned it. Nights of meeting people, and remembering their names. This is going out lots. Yeah, you might have to puke lots before you can come here. This is the Super Bowl baby! Do you know what this means? You’re at a house party, not an L/L suite, not a Trinity party, not even a Coolidge Hall party. But you have to know people who live here, you’re going to have to have an in and know where the kegs are. You’re going to have to know that the good vodka isn’t where everyone thinks it is.

You’re going to have to pay to get in, even if you’re a girl.

You’re going to have to know the party ends at 12 A.M. because the bars close at 2. You’re going to have to look like you’re 21 because god forbid the police come and it looks like I’m running a day-care center. You’re going to have to shut up when the music is off and I’m at the front door talking to the police. You’re going to have to be NICE, because this is my house.

I don’t want to sound like a bitch… maybe I do. See we’ve been doing this for four years, we were there too, we know how to do it, and we know how to look good while doing it. So before you give me shit in my house, you’re going to have to Air Raid Freshman, and tell me how our carpet smells because it’s been four years and I’ve almost forgotten.

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