Rides of Our Lives

Published September 17, 2007

By Jessica Beder

The majority of the University of Vermont’s student body has had the pleasure, or misfortune, of experiencing the Campus Area Transportation System at one point or another.

Some hop on and briefly sail to their destination. Every so often though, while bumping along and soaking up the monotony of another school day, passengers get to witness the elusive and amusing jocundity of the CAT system. Even the bus drivers we’ve all grown accustomed to often provide moments of brief hilarity in our daily routine.

Two days ago, the bus stopped outside Kalkin, and I promptly rose to step out. Before I could set my feet on the pavement, the Plexiglass doors thudded into my shoulder blades, atching me with a ridiculous lurch as I hung suspended awkwardly above the ground. Luckily, other students noticed my rather comedic predicament and quickly informed the shrunken elderly woman in the driver’s seat who was completely oblivious.

Another time, junior Hannah Weiss described to me the astonishment she felt while listening to a young male bus driver as he shamelessly crooned away at the top of his lungs to Beyoncé. The jocular frivolity of his outburst made quite an impression on the indifferent student body present.

Loyal bus riders will also notice that every so often, the campus daycare children take brief rides with their sitters. As many as fifteen preschoolers will troop up into the midst of the generally comatose young adults, much to the delighted bewilderment of those on board. It makes an adorably fixating scene to watch these toddlers scuttling through the masses, hugging the legs of the surrounding passengers and leaping around the seats.

Pre-schoolers are not the only unorthodox passengers to create mischief as the shuttle makes its circuit. Junior Rachel Brezel relayed to me an extraordinarily bizarre scene. From her vantage point at the back of the bus, she had a clear view of a somber elderly character standing amongst the throng of freshmen who appeared to be easing into the sleep that sets in
before classes.

Much to the astonishment of Rachel and her companions, the rotund old man began to reach up and tie several students’ backpacks together while snickering to himself. When the bus rolled into Royall Tyler Theater, there was an extremely entertaining scene of confusion as several students were smacked and swung about while the tethered group attempted to disengage themselves.

The late bus provides another surplus of comedic merriment. Shenanigans often occur during the long ride that circles downtown on the weekends, ferrying intoxicated students to and from campus. The passengers on this run are by far the most boisterous, lively group of any bus route at any other time.

On the way down in the beginning of the night, everyone chatters excitedly, and often times there is so little room that elbows, fingers, and knees jab every which way, forcing people to awkwardly assemble their limbs so as not to offend or injure. During one such ride, I found myself thrust into the most ridiculous situation, uncomfortably jammed into the face of a girl sitting on one of the benches. She generously offered me her lap, and I took her up on this offer, riding her all the way downtown. It was the strangest way I’ve ever made a new friend.

The bus is one of the many things that gives UVM its unique character. Any frequent rider can conjure up at least one amusing recollection. Although not always a hot point of action, the CATS won me over with its irregular spurts of charming buffoonery.

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