The Bauer Obsession
Published September 17, 2007
By Kurt Weiss
My roommates and I watch our shows religiously. Every Monday we sit down to watch the worst days of Jack Bauer’s life on 24. Missing an episode is not an option. It happens though. Homework takes precedence every once in awhile and more often than not, there’s a girl involved.
It’s not just the pressure from the other roommates that draws us to the couch every night. With each passing episode we grow more invested in the characters and their story. When Jack Bauer returned from China last season, he was a broken man. Life couldn’t have been worse, and he decided to give up and let it come to an end at the hands of one of his ruthless terrorist nemeses. Then, a nuclear bomb exploded in downtown Los Angeles and Jack had to swallow his sorrow and crack the terrorist plot.
That’s compelling television. As the seconds ticked away on the infamous digital clock, I couldn’t wait to find out what happened next. As each episode climaxed in a glorious minute long montage of “on the next episode of 24,” I couldn’t control my excitement. Then a funny thing happened. I missed an episode. It was a busy week. I had too many things to do to even make a to-do list. There just wasn’t time for Jack.
News of the episode gushed from the mouths of my roommates, as I returned home from the library late Monday night. I begged them not to and cringed each time someone else brought it up, but I needed to hear at the same time. It turned out that Jack’s own brother was the villain who had orchestrated his miserable day in season 4, but on the bright side Jack had tortured him to death for information on the location of this season’s remaining nuclear bombs.
The plot leak only piqued my interest. I needed to see it for myself, yet still I had no time to. As Monday rolled around again, I was still underneath a pile of unread and unwritten pages. Audrey was alive, the Chinese were holding her hostage, Jack Bauer had committed treason in stealing nuclear secrets from the United States Government, but as I sat in the library reading through pages and pages of Congressional Record it was almost as though I didn’t care.
At breakfast the next morning, with my roommates pouring over Bauer’s latest kills, I realized I didn’t care. I didn’t care at all. The trials and tribulations of Jack Bauer felt so distant to me. We both had looming deadlines, with the hours ceaselessly ticking away, but I just couldn’t relate to Jack anymore. Whether he saved the world from a diabolical faction of the Chinese government or not was no longer important to me, and I have more than a general concern for the well-being of the world. I’m intimately invested in its survival. In regard to Jack Bauer, however, it dawned on me as I plowed through a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios that he wasn’t actually doing anything about the Chinese. It was only a TV show.
Every time my roommates and I had sat down to watch 24, we made it real. Every time we saw commercials for it or an ad in a magazine or went on-line to check out the latest news on the Bauer Kill Count, we reinforced that reality.
The more we talked about Jack amongst ourselves or put the CTU ring-tone on our cell phones, the more we became a part of that invented reality. 24 became this amazingly addictive drug. I felt I had to have it at all times, until I missed it by accident and found it a habit as easy to kick as getting into fights with my imaginary friend. He was never really there, so as long as I didn’t throw a punch, there wouldn’t be sand in my milk.
The relationship we develop between ourselves and the television shows we watch is extremely unique. A movie is two hours long, and we can watch it here and there, over and over again constantly or simply see it once and log it away in our memory banks. TV shows, even really shitty TV shows, demand our near daily attention. Get attached to four or five shows and your entire week is planned out. Everything else is forced to fill in the gaps between the season premier of The O.C. and the Grey’s Anatomy Two-Hour Special: “Code Black.”
Supporting all this is the relentless advertising campaign that confronts you every time you turn on your TV set. You probably knew that as with every other week, your choice show would be aired on the same day and time as it was last.
But, did you know that this week’s episode was a must-see, can’t-miss episode?
Did you know that on next week’s Law and Order: SVU, Stabler and Benson would stumble onto the most shocking crime scene they’ve ever seen or that on The Hills this week Lauren would make a decision that will change the rest of her life? Of course you didn’t, and now that you know you need to find out how and why.
The more we watch, the more we watch. We don’t need Tivos to expand our palate of shows. Our own passive consumption will draw us further and further into the web of programming which ensnares us into the fantastical lives of the most extraordinary people, who do the most amazing things on a weekly basis. We always end up at the edge of our seats anxiously awaiting the trailer for next week’s episode to cut the suspense it will inevitably only build upon. And yet, miss an episode and you will find that life goes on.
In reality, Jack Bauer doesn’t affect world politics nearly as much as it would seem based on his everyday heroic actions viewed on a weekly basis, by the hour.
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