Tri-Factor: The UVM Police Officer

Published September 17, 2007

Created By Anya Brodrick, Illustration by Erin Daigle

This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics.

A Day in the Life of Officer Jones

8:04 am: puts on uniform and can’t help but think how good it makes him look. two years at the academy got him a dead sexy outfit and a job with some authority

8:30 am: quick dunkin’ donuts stop for two glazed donuts, glaze unbroken, and small talk with cute “sandwich girl”

8:38 am: late, he speeds en route to campus. it is imperative that he looks like he has important police business to conduct

11:45 am: while patrolling campus, he spots some suspiciously red-eyed students that make him think of egg rolls. inspired, he cuts the line at lucky’s cart under the auspices of official police duty

2:30 pm: scans facebook for potential ragers. writes down addresses on isham, greene, and loomis as promising spots. then checks out drunken photos but not to write down names. he only laments that revealing tank tops and tongue rings weren’t the norm in his college days.

3:12 pm: mid-afternoon nap to energize him for a long evening of intimidating well-intentioned but moderately intoxicated UVM students and ticketing them for talking at too high a level.

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