Fuck You, Cupid
Published September 24, 2007
By Alex Townsend
Oh, relationships.
We see them in movies, on T.V., and in every disgustingly sweet couple making out in the hallways. When we’re with someone else, it can seem like there’s no world outside the drama, migraines, and heartache of dating. When we break up, it’s easy to want to just swear off of relationships forever.
Still, although it can have its perks, being single sucks.
When you’re single for a while, you start to feel horribly unattractive. That shirt that always made you feel funky and fresh? It has inexplicably started to make you look like someone just threw up on you. What might have simply been a case of frizzy hair a week ago is now an abomination that the bride of Frankstein would cringe at.
To make matters worse all couples in existence unite against you. Suddenly they’re everywhere, cuddling, smiling, holding hands. All relationships are happy and perfect (and those that aren’t would be, if he were dating you instead of that controlling bitch).
I went through this painful limbo for a number of years.
The fact that I wasn’t dating anybody wasn’t always on my mind, but it did come up a lot. After all, that boy riding his bike might have been secretly watching me from afar, wishing he could work up the courage to talk to me. Or maybe I totally won that girl’s heart when I held the door open for her. And that stranger whose gaze I had held for a moment too long? Clearly we were meant to be.
Sadly, it seemed my intuition was off every time. I was forced to wind down, and even give up relationships altogether. That’s it, no hope for me. I may as well have taken a vow of celibacy.
That lasted about two weeks, until (of course there’s an until) a get-together right before Halloween. I’d tried to MacGyver a last-minute, but it turns out that you can’t make any good costumes with just a length of ribbon. But that isn’t to say that ribbon can’t lead to a hell of a lot of fun.
And tying people up. That’s important too.
I found a guy whose name I still don’t know, bound him with my ribbon, and dragged him down the hallway. That was great fun by itself, but more importantly, it attracted the attention of another guy who was watching. “I have got to get to know you better,” he said.
Score!
To my utter shock and disbelief, he became my first boyfriend. Even now it feels somewhat surreal that I finally got what I’d been looking for, not only when I least expected it, but when I had given up all hope.
But that’s just how it happens isn’t it? We may pull our hair out when we’re single, dating, or just broken up. We may swear that we’re absolutely through with love. But people keep finding each other and trying again. Why do we do this? Hell if I know, maybe love’s just the drug we can’t give up. There may be a lot of reasons. What I really think though, is that we’re driven by hope, a hope that the next person will be special. Maybe they won’t be “the one” but they may just be that somebody that you never even knew you needed. And that vague hope is what keeps people going, willing to try again.
So, good luck to you all, star-crossed lovers, soul mates, and we-were-on-the-bus-at-the-same-timers. I hope that you never have reason to stop hoping.
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