Outside Boston

Published October 1, 2007

By Kurt Weiss

If you asked UVM students where they are from, an overwhelming majority would tell you they come from Boston, “outside” Boston, “near” Boston, “right outside” Boston or “just outside” Boston. Apparently no one lives in Massachusetts anymore.

It’s somehow become acceptable to claim Boston as home if you live anywhere within 200 miles of it. People think that if they can drive to Boston, they live there- even if it would be cheaper to fly.
If you’ve ever been to a Red Sox game at Fenway or even just watch the games on NESN, at UVM, you might be from “outside” Boston. On the other hand, saying you live 20 minutes from Boston isn’t an amazingly truthful statement when it’s actually 20 minutes on the Mass Pike doing 90 in the HOV lane until you hit traffic at I95. I can’t take it anymore. I live just outside Boston in a town called Brookline, which physically borders Boston on two sides. I even live on one of those borders. When I’m playing basketball in my driveway and the ball rolls down the hill, it rolls into Boston. Based on this, I live “just outside” Boston.

There are more appropriate ways to define your hometown’s position vis-à-vis Boston. You might live North of Boston or South of Boston. You might even live in Central Mass and apparently some of you even live in Southern New Hampshire. I’m not sure what has caused this geographic phenomenon.

You don’t hear all the Jersey kids saying they live outside Trenton, or everyone from Vermont claiming Rutland. It’s just not done. At this point, saying you’re from outside Boston when you’re really from Swampscott is like lying about your age in elementary school when you were 10 and a half and told everyone you were 11.

Just remember the embarrassment on your birthday when you had to explain that one to all your friends.

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