Devil’s Dictionary 2008

Published October 16, 2007

By Ambrose Pierce, Jr.

Devoted (noun):
Loyal beyond reason, completely committed to a person or idea even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Stubborn. Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney frequently assures supporters that he is devoted to continuing the war in Iraq, despite its current unpopularity among Americans.

Flip-Flop (noun):
1. A light sandal typically worn during the summer. Noisy in hallways.
2. An abrupt reversal of policy, usually done by dirty politicians whose actual views do not align with those of their base. Never reflects well when the public finds out. Romney has been accused of flip-flopping on social issues like gay rights and abortion, having had “epiphanies” that totally changed his once liberal positions.

Massachusetts (noun):
State in northeastern United States. Known for clam chowder, Celtics, and its generally liberal Democratic urban and suburban population. Avoid Worcester. Mitt Romney, once the governor of Massachusetts, may not win his home state in the general election because of his new hard-line Republican politics.

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