Oy Vey Giuliani

Published October 16, 2007

By Cedric Mac Smith

Everyone loves gimmicky bullshit. That’s why we love election season. We see politicians do things no normal person would do on TV or YouTube, and we either admire them for their integrity, or laugh at their stupidity. It’s all for our entertainment. I mean, who even votes anymore? But when we see the same gimmicks over and over, you have to say to yourself, “Am I the first one to notice this, or am I just stupid?”

Case in point: The Giuliani campaign. “America’s Mayor” was in the middle of addressing the National Rifle Association, and, whoops! It’s the wife calling. Contrary to what 91% of Americans believe to be disrespectful, he answered his phone, told her he was in the middle of speaking, said, “I love you and have a safe flight,” and hung up.

It’s cute.

Conservative Americans are more likely to vote for someone with a stable marriage, and Rudy just wanted to reassure everyone that his third wife is just hunky dory. That’s fine, but then he did it again at the Oklahoma History Center. Something’s fishy. Does Judith Giuliani really love Rudy that much, or does she just not know his campaign schedule?

When addressing the accusations about the phone calls’ being staged, Giuliani said that since 9/11, whenever either of them is traveling, they call each other just to reaffirm their love.

Ah, and it comes out. The Big 9/11. It would be slightly understandable if these “candid” phone calls were just honest spousal interference. Other presidential candidates’ spouses have been thrown in the mix. Elizabeth Edwards duked it out on the air with Ann Coulter, Michelle Obama commented on Barrack’s embarrassing personal habits, and of course, there’s a man named Bill. By throwing 9/11 into the mix, people subconsciously follow up with Osama, Al Queda, Hussein, Iraq… Iran. Every question seems to be solved, and questions about staged phone calls are forgotten. Yes, he was there for 9/11.

He showed great leadership during a time when humbled Americans were wondering why the whole world wasn’t unconditionally in love with the Red White and Blue. The fact of the matter, however, is that politicians viewed 9/11 as a tragedy in 2001, not a marketing technique to be used six years in the future.

So how does Giuliani spice up his campaign? By putting its name on a fundraiser with a goal of raising $9.11 from every participant. The name of the event was called, of course, “9.11 for Rudy.” It’s horribly disrespectful to those who lost their lives on that unprecedented morning. The current administration has had Congress and We the People marching to the drumbeat of 9/11 for the last five years. Now, as everyone seems to be waking up and wondering where many of their basic rights have gone, Giuliani wants to ride into the White House on the same ticket.

America needs a president who can lead this country into the future. Many people are tired of the current President of 9/11 who trounces every principle this country was founded on. Mr. Giuliani, the act is over and the American people are tired. If you want to be elected president, don’t run on the 9/11 ticket, it’s despicable. And stop answering your phone mid-speech. It’s just rude.

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