The Smiling Monster: Asserting Your Rights When The Man Tries to Trick You

Published October 23, 2007

By Max C. Bookman

“Okay, we can do this one of two ways,” the officer said, leaning in, his pink fleshy face barely inches from mine. “We can do this the easy way, and you can let me in, or we can do it the hard way, and you can pretend like nothing’s going on behind that door.”

That’s the situation I was slapped with. Expecting to greet a friendly guest, ready to partake in an enjoyable evening of beer, corn chips, salsa, and baseball, I encountered a sweaty bald police officer demanding to check out my fridge. Maybe he thought there were some doughnuts inside.

Needless to say, I was not prepared for this situation. Suddenly, I had to successfully navigate a hallway encounter with a UVM cop – someone who is older, stronger, and far more knowledgeable in the law than I. He has badges, radios, a pistol, a Taser, a shotgun in the whip, and an unpleasant attitude to boot. If he saw fit, he could summon a dog that sniffs drugs faster than Lindsay Lohan, or he could lock me up for an unpleasant night behind bars. This man is intimidating, and he knows it.

Getting busted by the cops sucks. Having a solid knowledge of your rights is of paramount importance when dealing with these buggers, but being able to assert those rights is also a key element and can prove very difficult. The police know that they can’t overtly violate your rights, and they usually won’t. But they will use some very sneaky tactics to get around those pesky rights.

On campus, it starts at the beginning of the year, with some smart PR. Within the first week of school, residents are introduced to a UVM Police officer. This person is always friendly, approachable, and sometimes even funny (marked at best). The officer puts out the message that if you don’t run around the residence halls obviously breaking policy, you’ll fly under the radar. It’s a pleasant face that hides a grim creature.
UVM police may be nice people when they take the uniform off, but while on the job, they have taken to some seriously aggressive manners to enforce policy. These people go far beyond dealing with whatever falls in front of their faces. They go out and literally search for policy violations.

The Water Tower has received reports from various students who claim that cops have put their ears up to dorm room doors to try and hear the contents of the discussion inside, and others who have witnessed police looking inside first floor rooms by standing outside the windows. These situations showcase how close (literally) UVM police will get to infringing upon your rights without actually doing it.

Yes, police may be allowed to put an ear to the door and peep through windows, but they shouldn’t. It’s borderline harassment, and would not be tolerated in a non-collegiate community. Why not set up remote audio recorders outside selected rooms? That way, they could conveniently eavesdrop from the comfort of their expensive cruisers!

Police are skilled in using language that slyly gets around your rights. These tricky mind games will make it difficult for you to assert your stance. Suggesting that they enter the room is a common trick that many have heard in the form of “would you let me come in?” He isn’t required to inform you that he’s not allowed to enter without your consent or without a warrant, so he won’t. Still, many students, inexperienced in dealing with police, will open their door at that request.
Even if you do know your rights, you might choke in the heat of the moment. Maybe you’ll think letting him in would get you off the hook. Remember, if you have something to hide, never let a cop in your room. Although the officer may suggest it, refusal to consent to a warrantless search is not admissible as failure to cooperate.
Presenting “the easy way” and “the hard way” is also a common trick. This mind game makes the resident think that he or she has been caught red handed, and the cop, in his benevolence, has chosen to not reprimand you to the fullest, so long as you cooperate with all his demands. In these situations, cops will say that they heard a bong bubbling, or beer cans opening, in hopes that you will admit your wrong doing. They are not obligated to inform you that hearing unconfirmed noises is flimsy evidence at best. It is set up so that asserting your rights is not a pleasant thing to do – met by an ominous threat – “the hard way.”

The police may rebut that they’re just doing their job (which they are), and that if students didn’t violate policy in the first place, there really wouldn’t be any problems. But it is simply not realistic to think that college students will not drink or smoke pot. Busting a room packed with a half dozen drunk freshmen blasting the bass is one thing, but searching out quiet rooms of a few kids drinking beers and watching sports – minding their own business – that’s too much.

For those who live on campus, this is the first time in our lives that we encounter the police as adults, and sadly, UVM police officers take advantage of that inexperience. Instead of telling you what your rights are, they use tricks to get you to give them up. Instead of patrolling the hallways, they spy on your room.

The school administration is in the midst of trying to reduce the party-hardy Groovy UV image. But are overbearing police part of that image? The relationship between police and students should not be adversarial. The UVM PD should live up to the smiley, friendly, unobtrusive image that they claim to represent. It should not be a façade to hide the monster behind.

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