Serving You The News In Brief

Published November 6, 2007

By Max C. Bookman

“None of us accept … this whole drama about emergency.”

-Pakistani opposition Imran Khan, regarding President Musharraf’s declaration of a state of emergency on Saturday. Our “number one” ally in the war on terror has suspended the constitution, removed the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, and shut down a popular television station, making the publication of dissenting opinions punishable with jail time. Watch Bush wiggle his way out of this one.

“History teaches that underestimating the words of evil, ambitious men is a terrible mistake.”

- George W. Bush, making an analogy between Osama Bin Laden and Adolph Hitler to criticize Congress for failing to act on more of his proposed domestic spying legislation. Funny word choice, considering that some would label this legislation that broadly increases executive power, well, ambitious.

“They would rather shut down this town than reach a fair and reasonable deal.”

- Patric Verrone, president of the western chapter of Writers Guild of America, defending the strike in Hollywood, deflecting blame onto the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers. The strike will halt the production of any new material, putting shows like the Tonight Show, the Daily Show, and The View on repeats. No more Whoopi?! (Thank God.)

“I think it’s time for the next guy to take it to the next step.”

-Bobby Cave, owner of the four-resident town of Albert, Texas. The small town features a bar and an ice house, and, oh yeah, it’s getting sold on eBay. The current asking price is $2.5 million. Shipping and handling not included.

“These are not votes you can miss.”

-Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, complaining about the absence of top presidential contenders during key senate votes. Barack Obama has missed more than eighty percent of votes in the past two months, and Clinton has missed sixty-three. Old: Rock the Vote. New: Rock the Vote Only When it Fits into your Campaign Schedule.

Print This Article

Comments