By Ben Silverman
So Iraq?
Yeeeeaaaaahhhh…..
It’s awesome to know that no matter what political party you vote into office (cough Democrats), neither one will ever live up to its campaign promises, or even acknowledge that the promises existed in the first place.
By Nate Bradbury
People curse for different reasons. Expletives are a significant portion of basic communication in some relationships. For others, keeping a lid on swearing habits is an important component of their social training. Bad word-usage can be suppressed to a certain point but it is difficult to squelch entirely. Even the most restrained must have a hard time stifling a four-letter eruption when they stub their toe in a late-night, unlit trip to the bathroom.
Steven Pinker, a Canadian experimental psychologist, recently published a book,
The Stuff of Thought, with a chapter-long investigation of “The Seven Words You Can’t Say On Television.” Dr. Pinker believes that “the same parts of the brain are involved when you bump your head and yell, ‘Oh Fuck!’ as when you step on a dog’s tail and get a very sudden howl.”
Elixer
On campus techno rager is a great idea.
Too bad annoying security and long lines made it suck.
More glow sticks next time.
Snow on the mountains
Shredding gnar before Thanksgiving = hardcore boarders’ wet dream.
North Beach now a fuzzy memory.
Democrats
Override Bush veto, but still can’t get shit together on anything important…
At long last we have entered a new month and thus a new sign: the Scorpio! Scorpios are known for their intense emotions, their tendency to be secretive, and their habit of hiding inside cowboy boots. As a result, Scorpios tend to smell like feet and they won’t tell you why.
By Max C. Bookman
“It takes time to damage a brand.”
-
Mark Sanford, Republican governor of South Carolina, on the disintegration of his party’s credibility on Capitol Hill. Congressional Republicans face a formidable challenge in 2008 as they try to balance conservative “values” voters with moderates who are fed up with Iraq. Yeah, good luck.
“Sarko l’Americain.”
-Loving nickname of French President
Nicolas Sarkozy. Mr. Sarkozy made headlines last week during his first official visit to the United States as president of France. He has received domestic criticism for his extremely pro-American views, which differ markedly from those of his predecessor, Jacques l’Fuckamerica.
Possibly the most pressing political issue in the US right now is Representative
Dennis Kucinich’s plans to bring impeachment proceedings against the Vice President. His proposition was read aloud to the House last Tuesday and was convincing enough to be pushed to debate.
Who knew?
Why is it that Kucinich’s binder, three inches thick of
Dick Cheney’s violations of international and constitutional laws, is receiving absolutely no press coverage? Maybe it’s because the US dollar has
fallen below the Canadian dollar for the first time in half a century. Maybe it’s because the President of Pakistan has
declared martial law. Maybe it’s because
WGA writers have decided to go on strike. Maybe, because Dick Cheney didn’t get a blowjob.
Food rules.
And there’s no better food than the kind you don’t have to pay for.
Thanks to our friends on the
Free Food at UVM Facebook group, we now bring you a guide to all the free food offered around campus.
So when your stomach and wallet are equally empty, just pick up the Water Tower (don’t worry, the paper is free too, you cheapskate).
November is trucking along, and that means only one thing: The Water Tower Beardvember competition is in full swing. Walk around campus and it’s hard not to notice - UVM’s face is getting hairier.
By now, you have undoubtedly bumped into at least one friend who is in the thick of the competition.
Maybe you’ve just started to notice your roommate checking out the little patch of hair growing on his chin, or perhaps your boyfriend is looking more and more like
Chewbacca with each passing day.
Remember to pace yourselves, and play fair. We’ve already had to disqualify one competitor for using
Rogaine on his face. We want a level playing field, people. And don’t even think of digging up one of those Halloween beards from Old Gold.
By Lea McLellan
Maybe it’s because Thanksgiving is getting close and I’ll be going home for the first time since August, but I’m starting to get a little nostalgic. I miss things I never thought I’d miss: my evil cat that hates me, my brother’s freestyle raps, and even my car. I’m sure lots of freshmen miss their cars. Now that it’s getting miserably dark and cold, it would be nice to have some means of reliable transportation.
By Max C. Bookman
Fully loaded with snacks and supplies, we sailed down Route 7, leaving behind
UVM, Burlington, and everything associated with that little swath of America aside Lake Champlain. The grey Shelburne sprawl of fast food, car dealerships, and motels slowly melted into that vista of orange sun, green mountains, and blue sky that is so typically Vermont.
We rolled through the brick clad Vergennes town center after turning onto Vermont 22-A, beginning the forty-mile drag that flows straight into Whitehall, New York. Immediately after crossing the border that separates the Empire State from her rural neighbor, grazing cows were replaced with ancient billboards, breathtaking green hills with utterly brown expanses, and well-kept farms with dilapidated above-ground swimming pools.
By Charles Winkleman
Last Monday, in the Mt. Mansfield Room in the
Davis Center, I listened to
President Fogel as he sat down with students to address their problems, questions, and ideas. Fogel was willing to give an hour of his time directly to us, yet no more than two dozen out of eleven thousand people decided to show up. Even the free refreshments couldn’t persuade enough people to stop by. Regardless, we all sat in a circle around Fogel, as a fire roared in the fireplace behind him.
By Lauren Foley
As young, bright, awe-inspiring college students, we are generally expected to be exceedingly friendly to our peers. Failure to say hello to someone in passing can undoubtedly hinder your reputation, especially if it is perceived as an intentional snub. However, there are times when this being nice backfires, often creating a really awkward situation, the type that makes you want to curl up in fetal position and hide.
Being nice often translates into being polite. Polite people hold doors for others when appropriate, say “Bless you” when people sneeze, and help out any time a friend is in need. Sometimes, to be nice, I will let others file out of the on-campus bus before me. Naturally because they are closer to the door. The other day though, a guy stopped abruptly in front of the door, seemingly confused as to why a girl had stepped back to let other people go first.
Created by Anya Brodrick with help from Andrew DeTullio, Illustration by Alexander Whitehead
A Day in the life of Jimmy Gnuggly
1:00 pm - Wakes up, checks both cell phones. Eight missed calls on his Prepaid
Trac Fone from possible clients, one missed call from his mother on the other.
1:17 pm - Puts on Life After Death, listens to “
Ten Crack Commandments” twice because he needs a refresher on the laws of “Hustlin’”
2:15 pm - Skips his
Drugs and Society class because he’s learned everything he needs to know about drugs from ‘da streets.
By Alex Townsend
As many students may have noticed, the semester is coming to a close. This may seem like a fairly ho-hum event for the upperclassmen, but it’s also a cause for complete astonishment for many freshmen (oh sorry, “first-years”). The question running through our minds and livejournals is how the hell did this happen? How is that I got to that unbelievably distant age and maturity of being in college? Am I really not in high school anymore? Have I actually been attending classes where the teachers are called professors for months now?
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