If Congress Had Just One Ball: The impeachment of Dick Cheney and why it will fail

Published November 13, 2007

Possibly the most pressing political issue in the US right now is Representative Dennis Kucinich’s plans to bring impeachment proceedings against the Vice President. His proposition was read aloud to the House last Tuesday and was convincing enough to be pushed to debate.

Who knew?

Why is it that Kucinich’s binder, three inches thick of Dick Cheney’s violations of international and constitutional laws, is receiving absolutely no press coverage? Maybe it’s because the US dollar has fallen below the Canadian dollar for the first time in half a century. Maybe it’s because the President of Pakistan has declared martial law. Maybe it’s because WGA writers have decided to go on strike. Maybe, because Dick Cheney didn’t get a blowjob.

Whatever the reason, impeachment (which is kind of a big deal) has not found its way into the news. But let’s not get rowdy; this whole issue is probably a moot point.

Kucinich can’t even find support within his own party. The most powerful democrats, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer and Speaker Nancy Pelosi not only oppose Kucinich’s proposition, but Hoyer has introduced legislation to have it killed.

Furthermore, what would voting for impeachment do to the campaigns of presidential hopefuls Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama? It seems the effort to kill the impeachment process will be a bipartisan one.

Bill Maher put it perfectly when he asked Congress’s Democrats to grow “just one ball.” With one ball, maybe we would already have a pullout date from Iraq, Blackwater would have been properly dealt with, and poor kids could have some health coverage.

Kucinich said he also has plans to bring similar articles of impeachment against President Bush. The chances of two impeachments are astronomical and should be labeled a “two-ball” scenario. Besides, can anyone say “President Pelosi?”

Yeah, me neither. Sorry Dennis, you’re the only Democrat with balls.

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