Iraq, the Land of Rainbows and Unicorns

Published November 13, 2007

By Ben Silverman

So Iraq?

Yeeeeaaaaahhhh…..

It’s awesome to know that no matter what political party you vote into office (cough Democrats), neither one will ever live up to its campaign promises, or even acknowledge that the promises existed in the first place. In fact, they seem to believe that the American people’s opinion exists because of the politicians’ leadership, not the other way around.

The majority of Americans want to get the hell out of Iraq. Nuts are those who still blabber about “Supporting our Troops,” since the vast majority of American troops have been demanding to end this debacle since 2005. Some folk think that slapping a yellow ribbon on their car and keeping any contact with our veterans is enough to suffice for care. When really all an Iraq veteran wants is a good hug and our reassurance that they’ll be taken care of, not to mention that they’ll be kept needlessly out of harm’s way.

All of the rest of the world with no exceptions or exaggeration think we’re so full of shit our eyes have turned brown. And, oh yeah, the actually Iraqis whom we’re trying to “help” want us off their front lawns so badly that they’re trying to kill us!

So why isn’t it clear to the Legislative Branch that by the logic of democracy, with the whole mob rule behind this, we should be out of there two days before the day after tomorrow. Sure the president has had unlimited power since Lyndon B. to wage war at his wildest whim, but there’s still one power left to you senators out there: cut the sodding funding! It’s not pretty for certain, but it’s one sure fire way to end this reefer madness. If the generals have no more bullion, then they have to come home. And don’t think that cutting the military’s umbilical cord will leave the troops stranded, the Pentagon has and always keeps an emergency “retreat” fund from day one in just such an emergency.

The Democrats have no excuse for their lethargic laziness. Over a million Iraqis, civilians, and otherwise, have been killed since the invasion. When does collateral damage become collateral genocide? Recent reports of decreasing rates of violence have more to do with the fact there is nobody left to kill than any nonsense about successful troop surge.

Iraq was not the land of unicorns and rainbows under Sadam, but it wasn’t the of Murdor either. In fact, the reason why the Iraqi people at large were ready to accept (they hated him but were willing to live with him) Sadam as their tyrant was because Iraq was one of the most prosperous states in the region, with the highest literacy rate among women in the Arabic world. Then our two subsequent invasions totally annihilated this and their (free) educational system to boot.

There were never any weapons of mass destruction. We have no reason to be there besides ridiculous amounts of greed. Our ‘cut and running’ will not cause Iraq to descend into (even further) chaos; it’s not as if the presence of American troops is somehow, against all evidence, the last blue line before outright cannibalism. This newest propaganda blurb in a long line of half-baked excuses by the administration is as racist as it comes-it assumes that the Iraqi people are somehow ethnically/culturally less capable to manage their own affairs than we. That we need to come in and install Democracy at gunpoint is contradictory to the whole point of Democracy.

The sectarian violence now so overtly prevalent in Iraq (but in fact mostly, 80%, directed at Americans) did not exist before the invasion. If a pot of water wasn’t boiling before you put it on the stove, then the best way to get it to quit is to remove the fire. We’re the fire, by the way.

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