Serving You The News In Brief

Published November 13, 2007

By Max C. Bookman

“It takes time to damage a brand.”

- Mark Sanford, Republican governor of South Carolina, on the disintegration of his party’s credibility on Capitol Hill. Congressional Republicans face a formidable challenge in 2008 as they try to balance conservative “values” voters with moderates who are fed up with Iraq. Yeah, good luck.

“Sarko l’Americain.”

-Loving nickname of French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Mr. Sarkozy made headlines last week during his first official visit to the United States as president of France. He has received domestic criticism for his extremely pro-American views, which differ markedly from those of his predecessor, Jacques l’Fuckamerica.

“I don’t believe this, I don’t believe this.”

-Charles Everson, after a 600-pound cow fell 200 feet from a cliff and landed on the hood of his minivan. Nobody was hurt (except for the cow, of course). Moral of the story: Too many vegetarians, too few people eating cows. Expect similar stories in the future.

“I have been deceived by the powers of evil.”

-Polygamist leader Warren Jeffs, jailed in September for being an accomplice to rape. Recently released documents describe how he attempted suicide by trying to hang himself. Perhaps he just couldn’t wait to get to hell.

“To be honest, he has to do something for black people.”

- P. Diddy, regarding Barack Obama’s campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination. Many black leaders are growing impatient with Senator Obama, who they feel has taken the African American vote for granted.

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