Tri-Factor: SGA Senator

Published November 27, 2007

Created by Anya Brodrick, Illustration by Alexander Whitehead
This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics.

A Day in the life of Deardra Mullen

3:39 am: Poli Sci paper isn’t close to being done yet. Looks like no sleep again tonight. Nothing an extra large coffee at Henderson’s can’t handle.

9:05 am: Take on-campus bus to class. Casually talks or say hi to almost every person on bus.

9:30 am: Professor is lecturing about sports and mass media, which reminds her about free showing of documentary sponsored by Senior Class Council and the women’s Volleyball Team; raises her hand to make sure everyone in class knows.

10:45 am: Walks to library; is bombarded with no fewer than 15 “Hey there, what’s up” and 12 waves. Makes sure to reciprocate every single one to ensure senatorial position next year, or maybe even (oh my God) VP!

11:00 am: Meets up with fellow senator; starts putting up posters encouraging everyone to “get involved!” and attend various meetings, when in reality, if they weren’t a senator (which just looks great for your C.V.), they’d probably never even think of showing up at one.

11:57 am: Walks up to the SGA office to see what’s doin’. Scornfully glances towards the Water Tower desk while wondering what the editors are laughing about. Do they really need a desk anyway?

1:15 pm: Lunch at the Davis Center with wholesome senators; loves how high-profile and popular they look, also loves the number of parties they can go to on the weekends just because they have approximately 600 facebook friends. Totally makes up for awkward high school years.

2:00 pm: Amazed and overwhelemed by the realization that she a and only 42 other people “represent” the entirety of the undergrad population of about 10,000 students…decides to ignore that fact and continue planning student activity fairs that will be emailed onto too many listservs and end up just deleting without even opening them.

2:15 pm: gets an excused absence from class because she’s setting up yet another “activity” fair in the Davis Center.

4:11 pm: Boyfriend picks her up outside Davis Center. Ride to DREAM event is spent discussing which Feel Good sandwich is better. Cheeseus Loves Me is totally the best, but would the starving kids in Africa get the pun?

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