Tri-Factor: The Christmas Feasters

Published December 4, 2007

Created by Anya Brodrick, Illustrations by Alexander Whitehead
This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics.

A Day in the life of Tina Boomer and Tucker Boomer-Spruce

TINA:
11:00 am: already up for the past four hours, only 3 more pies to go!

11:30 am: still rolling out the three crusts and simultaenously
yelling at the in-laws

12:45 pm: scrambling to get everything set: turkey out, sides
prepared, candles lit. also making sure the entire family is there

1:03 pm: carving the turkey, making sure the best pieces go to tucker. he seems to really be loving everything!

1:37 pm: serve another huge plate to tucker. think this is probably the best christmas meal she’s ever prepared-he’s eaten so much!

2:15 pm: the desserts have almost disappeared; everyone loved everything! especially tucker, he always brags about how great my cookies are.

2:53 pm: begin tedious clean-up while everyone has either left to drive home or passed out on the couch.

4:45 pm: gladly makes tucker another sandwich; it’s good to see him
eating so well (especially my food); who knows what he eats at school!

TUCKER:

11:00 am: Still sleeping

11:30 am: reluctantly roll out of bed, only to walk next door to indulge with friend in pre-christmas, post final, we-haven’t-hung-out-in-forever celebratory bowl.

12:45 pm: come back just in time to sit down to a huge christmas feast.

1:03 pm: face first delicious plate of turkey. more gravy, more rolls, more mashed potatoes, more salad…dope.

1:37 pm: second plate polished off, taking a quick breather for dessert.

2:15 pm: officially stuffed, after 2 slices of pumpkin pie, 1 brownie and about 12 cookies. rationalizes stuffing face by being completely baked and also the rarity of real food once he’s back at school.

2:53 pm: collapses onto couch and promptly zones out to football.

4:45 pm: wakes up and everything has been cleared away. groggily calls out to his mother to make him a turkey sandwich…will need the extra protein for the gift exchange.

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