Tri-Factor: Grade A Season Rejecter

Published January 22, 2008

Created by Anya Brodrick, Illustration by Alexander Whitehead
This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics.

A Day in the Life of Kelly O’Dowd

11 am: Wakes up. Usually this is considered late & lazy by most people (especially during the week), but she justifies it by telling herself it’s not normal to wake up when it’s not actually sunny out.

11:20 am: Calls mom to complain about how horribly cold/snowy/wintry it is. When mom reminds her that Vermont winters have always been like this, she cuts her off by asking about going on a cruise and/or Cabo for spring break or hell, even the next three day weekend.

12 pm: Trudges to class- even though it’s only 10 degrees out (with a windchill of five below), she still reserves her right to wear her shortest skirt.

1:12 pm: Heads to tanning salon (where clearly she has an unlimited package). Her already painfully fake tan is NOT stopping her from becoming even more orange.

2:30 pm: Heads back to class. Has to tackle someone in order to get the last seat near the window- hey, she needs as much vitamin D as possible.

3:54 pm: Asks for iced coffee at the Cyber Cafe, promptly throws a hissy fit when they say it’s ludicrous to have it in January.

4:30 pm: The sun has set…and this season rejecter already has her bottle of wine open. It’s the only way she can stay sane in the 12+ hours of darkness.

6 pm: Turns on every light/lamp in the house (even the night-lights) to trick herself into thinking it’s still sunny out. She falls asleep to her rooommates yelling at her- when this happened last week their electric bill tripled.

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