Tri-Factor: Drunk Bus Rider

Published January 29, 2008

Created by Anya Brodrick, Illustration by Alexander Whitehead
This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics.

9:36 pm: Freshly showered, he’s still forced to put on a dirty shirt. He figures 10 applications of deodorant will cover up any lingering b.o.

9:52 pm: Shotguns two beers with roommmate, resulting in a huge spill of PBR on his floor. Oh well, at least the rug will soak it up.

10:01 pm: Heads two doors down to the totally chill babes’ room to do shots of cheap gin. Totally getting flirty with the blonde one, they decide to hop on the bus and go downtown.

10:12 pm: Split a cigarette while waiting for the bus– this is going to be a good night.

10:21 pm: Manages to snag the last seat on the bus; the blonde babe is forced to sit on his lap, which he can’t really complain about.

10:35 pm: Starts singing “ I can’t get no satisfaction“, gets the whole bus going and is almost kicked off by the driver. They all quickly quiet down when they go by central campus and the guard patrols the bus.

11:04 pm: Gets off by Pearl St. bevvy. Head to a raging party.

1:16 am: Could totally use another pack of cigarettes but everywhere is closed. He heard the Rite Aid used to be a Brooks and was open 24/7…if only that were the case now. Decides to walk down Winooski.

1:25 am: Gets a slice a Mr. Mike’s: perfect combination of a great drunken snack and can totally see the bus-stop from the window.

1:39 am: Runs to catch the bus; if anything it’s even more rowdy than when he got on earlier. The blonde he was with earlier is no where to be found, but it’s so packed that he can easily “bump into” some other girls and act like it was an accident.

1:58 am: Almost gets sick when someone else vomits into the trash can but manages to keep his cool.

2:14 am: Finally gets back to his dorm. Decides to hang out with new friends he met on the bus; they talk about how it sucks the bus stops running at 2am, but it doesn’t matter ‘cuz they still have half a thirty in their room.

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