Veggietales

Published January 29, 2008

By Lea McLellan

About a month ago, I decided to stop eating meat. Well, most meat. I still eat turkey, chicken, and fish, but no more meatballs or “B” in my BLT’s. I didn’t stop eating red meat because I love cows and pigs. I could say it was because I wanted to be healthy and reduce my animal fat intake, but that would only be half true at best. The real reason is actually kind of embarrassing. I haven’t eaten red meat in the last month because of a mixture of guilt and peer pressure.

I have a very annoying vegan friend who has a lot of other annoying vegan friends. Being the only one who eats meat at a table full of intense vegans at a vegan restaurant is a scary and uncomfortable way to spend an evening. At one point during the meal, the supervegans were discussing donating blood. “Yeah. I’d probably give up all my blood just to save some MEAT EATER’S life,” said supervegan number one with a look of pure disdain.

I tried to keep cool, but in my head I was thinking, “Meat eater?! Shit, shit, shit… please don’t let him know I’m a meat eater!” Unfortunately, my friend must have told him of my shame, because the guy turns to me and says, “No offense, you seem very sweet.”

Damn.

After dinner I whispered to my friend, “Your extreme vegan friend called me a meat eater!” He replied by saying, “You are a meat eater!!”
I do eat meat, so I guess it’s true. Still, I’ve never thought of myself as a “meat eater.” It sounded appalling. I realize that peer pressure is a very ridiculous and in no way a legitimate reason to change my diet. But not being a vegetarian has been bugging me for a long time.

A high percentage of my friends are vegetarians or vegans. People who don’t know me even assume that I’m a vegetarian. I suppose it’s by association, or maybe because I do yoga. And while I’ve thought about joining my animal-friendly friends in their personal decisions to eat only Boca burgers and tofu, I’ve never felt passionate enough about it to do so. Even now, as a half-vegetarian, I feel like an imposter.

The supervegans were the most extreme people I have ever met. Most vegetarian and vegan people I know have no problem with others around them eating meat. But even though they claim not to care, I was always paranoid that I completely grossed them out when I ordered a sausage pizza.

Preachy, soapbox vegetarians are annoying, but so are the angry and intense meat eaters. You know, the people who defend eating meat as if it were one of life’s fundamental rights and vegetarians are crazy not to love and appreciate a good slab of steak. I’ve personally never been harassed for being a vegetarian (since I’m not one) but I’ve seen it happen. When someone explains that they don’t eat meat, the common reaction from these supercarnivores is to say, “What?! Why!? I couldn’t live without meat!!” Then they flex their muscles, rip open a bag of beef jerky with their teeth, and proceed to gnaw on the dried cow flesh. Mmmmm.

As a newly confirmed, confused, barely half-vegetarian with highly questionable motives-I have trouble understanding the burning passion behind both extremist parties. Obviously not everyone in the world is going to want to be a vegetarian or vegan. And why do some people take it as a personal insult when others choose to eat soy chicken instead of chicken chicken? I think there’s been a big misunderstanding between the two factions. Maybe they both feel threatened by the other, and they think they need to defend their lifestyle choices. Or maybe they just fervently love soy and ground beef respectively. Anyway the big question here is: What do I hope to accomplish by eschewing meatball subs from my life? Let’s go with the reducing animal fat intake theory. It’s less absurd.

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