The Shit List

Published February 5, 2008

By Mac Smith

1. Ann Marie Linscott - This Woman from Michigan was recently arrested for finding someone via Craigslist.com to kill a woman from Oroville, California. This was a good idea in theory, seeing that you’d never expect law enforcement to find a murder for hire ad on a website that usually exchanges old bikes and used couches. Sometimes you just have bad luck.

2. The Kremlin - With a presidential election coming up, the Kremlin has been accused of election tampering by canceling televised debates and accusing the opposition to Putin’s favored candidate of forging petition signatures. The Kremlin has also come under fierce criticism by the Fashion Police for looking like a giant lollipop factory.

3. Conservapedia.com - Guess what? Another Wiki format search engine. I had to cram for a Bio test and looked up “evolution.” They gave me a great definition without the “liberal bias” about how it’s only a theory and shouldn’t be believed. I think I got an A on that test.

4. MLB - Umpires are livid that Major League Baseball has been sending representatives to gather information from their neighbors from a specific list of questions. Such inquiries include the umpires’ involvement with the KKK and domestic abuse records. Wife-beating bigot umpires?? I can understand being paranoid about steroids, but this is a, shall we say, ballsy tactic.

5. Spy Satellites - A malfunctioned US spy satellite is expected to re-enter the atmosphere and plummet to an unknown location on Earth in late February or early March. I knew I couldn’t trust these things. If they aren’t spying on you, they’re turning into fireballs and destroying shit.

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