News In Brief

Published February 12, 2008

By Max C. Bookman

“Attempts of foreign interference within Russia are not only immoral, but also illegal.”

-Outgoing Russian President Vladimir Putin in a farewell address on Friday, accusing Western powers of demanding international election monitors in the upcoming March 2 presidential election. Putin, who has spent an alarming tenure aggressively centralizing his power, will not disappear from the political landscape; his handpicked successor, Dmitry Medvedev, is expected to name Putin Prime Minister. Hooray for post-Soviet democracy!

“Let us pray for the Jews.”

-The words of an ancient Good Friday prayer, newly reinstated by Pope Benedict XVI, which calls for the conversion of Jews to Catholicism. The decision to bring back the prayer has sparked sharp criticism from Italian Jewish leaders, wary from centuries of forced conversions at the hands of the Vatican. At least it doesn’t say “let’s kill the Jews,” but come on, Pope, was that really necessary?

“Frankly, I’d be making it easier for Senator Clinton or Obama to win.”

-Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney, explaining his reason for leaving the presidential race last week. Romney suffered some disappointing losses on Super Tuesday, prompting him to revaluate the validity of his campaign. With serious losses from Romney to the Patriots, it’s a bad time to be from Mass.

“Join the Marines, travel to exotic lands, meet exciting and unusual people, and kill them.”

-One of many protest signs displayed last week at the notoriously liberal city of Berkley, California, where antiwar demonstrators assembled to support a highly controversial City Council measure that urged Marine recruiters to leave the city. Interesting statement, but now the terrorists win!

“I majored in miracles, and I still believe in them too.”

-Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, making light of his long-shot possibility of attaining the Republican nomination. Huckabee, an ordained minister, is the only remaining serious candidate in the Republican field to challenge frontrunner John McCain. Perhaps a miracle would be the VP nomination, Mike?

“There’s no losers in this one, Kanye”

-Celebrity rapper Usher, teasing Best Rap Album winner Kanye West moments before revealing the final award of the night, Album of the Year. Herbie Hancock took the award, beating big names West and Amy Winehouse. A good night for Hollywood - Oh, and the writers might be coming back…

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