The Shit List

Published February 12, 2008

By Mac Smith

1. Internet Cables - It has been reported that 5 international undersea Internet cables have been cut since January 23rd, affecting some 83 million users from Egypt to Malaysia. Many people believe that this will have a very negative impact on business transactions, but I just want know who I’m gonna sue when I can’t play Halo 3.

2. Guantanamo Bay - A new state of the art courtroom at Guantanamo Bay will allow the U.S. Military to keep its secrets by cutting off terror suspects’ testimonies from observers with the flick of a switch. Come on guys. Secrets, after all, are no fun. They should be for everyone.

3. Mississippi - A new bill would ban obese people from all restaurants in the state. Although many agree that Republican John Reed, one of the co-authors of the bill, is trying to bring publicity to a large problem in Mississippi, it is also agreed upon that he is going about it the entirely wrong way. Well, no shit.

4. UAE - A British man was arrested in Dubai after security recovered .003kg of cannabis (invisible to the naked eye) on the bottom of his shoe using special equipment. He’s been held there since last September. UVM PD take note. That’s how you enforce a zero tolerance policy!

5. Oregon - In Coos Bay, a police survey says that panhandlers outside the local Wal-Mart are making $300 a day. What’s wrong with that? Absolutely nothing. Good for them. What’s fucked up is that it takes the people INSIDE the Wal-Mart a week to make that much. Crunch those numbers.

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