The Shit List

Published February 19, 2008

By Mac Smith

1. Thailand-
Alarmed by polls reporting that a quarter of teenagers might be having sex on Valentine’s Day, Bankok’s police beefed up security at restaurants, movie theaters, motels, and public parks to make sure nobody was doing the nasty. After all that hard work, Bankok PD relaxed on Friday with 7 bags of opium and 47 hookers.

2. George Bush-
Economicindicator.com, an award winning website that compiles data across government agencies and makes it publicly accessible, will be shut down on March 1st by the Bush Administration. This is a smart move. If the economy fucks everybody but there’s no website to prove it, is the economy actually fucking anybody?

3. Hamas TV-
A new television show aimed for children under 12 depicts a Bugs Bunny look-alike who declares that he will “eat all Jews.” This really isn’t a surprise. After all, the man who has been trying to kill Bugs for nearly 70 years is named Elmer Fuddinowitz.

4. Congress-
A new bill could allow police misconduct to be withheld from the public. I can see it now: “World’s Wildest Police Videos Special Edition: Routine Traffic Stops.”

5. Paris Hilton-
Hilton’s new movie “The Hottie and the Nottie” opened last Friday to $9,000 over 111 screens. Basically, an average of 2-3 people per showing saw this movie. Does sex still sell? I guess in Paris’ case you have to actually be having sex in order for it to sell.

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