Tri-Factor: The Frisky Dorm Rat

Published February 26, 2008

A day in the life of Alicia Smyth-Johnson

Created by Anya Brodrick, Illustration by Alexander Whitehead
This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics.

10:30 am: Wakes up, briefly considers going to her Psych 1 lecture, then decides to stay in bed. Granted, she isn’t in her own room, but still…hers is just two doors down.

11:45 am: Ambles over to her own room, grabs her toothbrush and brushes her teeth in the handicap bathroom. What’s great about never going to class is that she always has dibs on it. Puts on one of many pairs of uggs and schleps down to the Grundle.

12:05 pm: Immediately is spotted by half of the hockey team. Sits in the middle of the table and lets them each get her a soda, grilled cheese, fries and some cereal.

12:17 pm: Quickly spots some loser she hooked up with like, three weeks ago-how was she supposed to know he lived in L/L? Runs to the bathroom in shame.

1:25 pm: After hanging out in the dining hall as long as possible, she heads back to her room. Her roommate is in class (thank god!) and her good friend Tommy just got back from Poli-Sci. UVMtv has been playing ‘The Bourne Ultimatum’ almost nonstop-their favorite.

2:30 pm: Tommy has to go to his english class, which is fine. her roommate is coming back anyways and ‘Love Actually’ is on.

2:45 pm: Cat nap time. Has to gather her strength for going to eat dinner/distracting Jason from doing his Anthro homework.

4:30 pm: Is woken up by her roommate typing on the computer, actually doing work. Ew. Goes next door to sleep on Joey’s futon.

6:15 pm: Reeeeeeally doesn’t feel like going outside, so makes Joey go get her pizza from the Marche. Eats it with him while he goes on
and on about some basketball game, then quickly leaves to go hang out with Jason.

6:30 pm: Gets momentarily pissed off when Jason’s roommate tells her he’s at the library, but then realizes that Tommy is just down the
hall and probably ripping a bong/playing Xbox 360. Excellent-her monday night will be fun!

8:45 pm: Exhausted from ‘hanging out’ all day and ‘distracting’ all her floormates. Thank god she lives on Redstone, she couldn’t handle
having to walk all the way down the hall like some of her friends have to at Marsh/ Austin/ Tupper!

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