That’s great for his massive and enthusiastic following,
but now detractors (and supporters) are taking
a closer look at the man who may seriously
be the next President of the United States.

By Elyse Stiner

“I’m asking you to believe. Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington… I’m asking you to believe in yours,” says Barack Obama.

Is it possible that he is finally our vessel for change and revolution? Obama preaches high goals and has beyond motivated voters to support his slogan, but can he deliver?

First and foremost let’s give him some credit…he has some great policies and even better, he believes in evolution! He wants to help the middle class, restore unity among Americans, and open discussions between America and other countries that Bush refused to talk to. His slogan is change: not only through him but through us, the people.

Catchy.

By Elliot Sion

A recent poll found that Barack Obama’s lead in Vermont has stretched to 25 points over rival Hillary Clinton, 57% to 33%. I can’t say I’m surprised. However, I can say that a growing number of Democratic voters are more than a little bit nervous about the junior Senator from Illinois (you never hear about any of them because, frankly, you never hear about anything other than Obama anymore).

By Lea McLellan

So I’m sitting in Harris Millis, checking out the cute boy from Bio that I had JUST friended on Facebook (but have never actually spoken to) when he looked over, smiled at me, and walked over to the sandwich line.

I practically choked on my grilled cheese, I was so psyched! He must have confirmed my request, why else would he so blatantly smile in my direction?? I couldn’t wait to get back to Millis 3 Lo so I could check my notifications. First Facebook friends, then smiles from across the dining hall, next — who knows?!

By Mac Smith

Elmo:

A Tampa Bay toddler got a surprise when his new toy, Elmo Knows Your Name, began spouting “Kill James” at the child after a battery change. Without an explanation of how these insults came about, “Kill James” seemed rather nice after Elmo started saying that he would “cut anyone who crossed [him] end-to-end with a Bowie knife.” Fisher Price currently has a team of experts working to come up with a cause. Until then, Elmo Knows Your Name, Elmo Knows Where You Live, and Elmo Doesn’t Like The Way You’re Looking at Him.

By Max C. Bookman

“Hi. I’m here to talk to you about my mother.”

- Chelsea Clinton, opening up a speech to an enthusiastic crowd of Hillary supporters at the University of Vermont last week. Clinton’s last-minute trip to Vermont was a welcome surprise for her mother’s supporters in the region, who battled cold weather to see her, despite predictions that Barack Obama is likely to win the state by large margins.

By Peter Salerno

We Americans worry about non-democratic elections in nations we consider our allies such as Pakistan, yet the problem is not unique to the Pakistani government. Vladimir Putin’s Russia has openly refused the democratic process in its own elections. Putin has helped rebuild Russia after its post-Soviet collapse in 1990, and for his efforts he has been rewarded power ever since 2000.

He has now decided to abdicate that power, but the change will not be much of a change at all. Dmitri Medvedev, one of Putin’s closest aids and a politician who shares in the President’s political and ideological philosophy, will now run the country.

The so-called elections in Russia are state interest driven. The propaganda towards the opposing party is outlandishly false and the pressure put on voters is bordering on terrorism in itself. Yet the top officials deny it all, saying that the West has put labels on the election that are unfair and untrue.

By Mac Smith

The campaign season so far has been looking to be a very promising one for Democrats. No matter what the outcome, the party will make history by nominating either a black man or a woman as their nominee. National polls show Barack Obama ahead of GOP frontrunner J ohn McCain, and the Democrats just keep building on their momentum that swept them into Congress in 2006. So logically, you must ask yourself, what can possibly stop the Democratic Juggernaut?

There is one man.

Two Sundays ago, Ralph Nader announced on Meet the Press that he would seek the presidency for the fifth consecutive time.

Couldn’t catch a name?
Submit your love anonymously to
www.thewatertowernews.com/iwantyousobad

Your accent makes my heart melt like soycheese. You’re sweeter than a carob chip and smoother than ricemilk. You make it fun to be vegetarian at UVM. Te adoro!
When: Lunch
Where: Marche
I saw: A Man
I am: A Woman

Read on for more submissions…

By Charles Winkleman

It is hard to understand what’s happening to our troops in Iraq. The only information we get is from the media, and they tell us that we should get our troops out of Iraq before it all turns to hell. But to many, especially the brave men and women on the ground in Iraq, they already are and have been fighting their own personal hell.

The Winter Soldiers came to UVM last Thursday to talk about the issues and crimes occurring in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Winter Soldiers were originally a group sponsored by the Vietnam Vets Against the War in the 70s. They brought to light the war crimes that were being committed by the American Army during the Vietnam War. The problem then, as we all know, is that the returning troops were called ‘baby killers’ among other things and were discriminated against in many walks of life. Many returned with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) among other problems, and were then shunned by society for following their commanders’ orders.
One of the Winter Soldiers, John Turner, was a marine in Iraq in 2006. Aside from the constant threat of being killed, he had to cope when his friends were shot or murdered by hostile combatants. And in such a situation, when there is little if any break in this stress, he and many other soldiers needed a way to vent their anger and frustration.

The easiest way to do that was to attack the people and places around them, i.e. the civilians.

By Max C. Bookman

Her heart starts pumping faster. She feels the blood accelerating through her arteries, causing her face to turn red and hot. Her brown eyes dart around the lobby of the Davis Center as she folds the newspaper in half and lets it fall to her lap. She’s a sophomore nursing major, and she is 100% sure that someone just spotted her in the “I Want You So Bad” section of the Water Tower.

By Sam Theodosopoulos

Throughout my freshmen year I have been privy to the Harris Millis dining experience: a four star restaurant located in the heart of the freshman dorms where every worker appears to either be clinically depressed or Nazi-like when you try and sneak a banana back to your room.

It is here that an assortment of inedible pizza, pasta, and chicken patties are served. Let us first examine the colloquial term “grundel” which is used more than synonymously in reference to the Harris Millis dining hall.

According to the most respected of all dictionaries, Urbandictionary.com, a grundel is defined as “The space of epidermis constituting the area betwixt the anal opening and the scrotum of a male.” Interestingly enough, this is listed as the second definition; the first one reads: “The Harris-Millis cafeteria at the University of Vermont.”

By Hillary Archer

Out from the black of a cave comes he–
To be greeted by a storm of leaves
Fresh green, plucked they be
Called fast to the dirt with which they soon will flirt.

Out from the black of a hole he runs–
Leaps as steps taken by elephant feet and bunions
Toes long like the twig he must balance upon
Too careful legs-divided and balanced with wit, stretched and folded into a gymnast’s split.

A day in the life of Katie McDevitt
Written by Anya Brodrick, Illustration by Alexander Whitehead

This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics.

8:30 am: Can’t wait to go to fuckin’ Cancun. Granted, her mom could only get her an early flight (and only a three star hotel, ugggggh) but hey, this means she has more time to driiiink when she gets there

9:15 am: One last chance to use her fake on the plane: orders a bloody mary. The altitude makes the alcohol work faster too.

11:15 am: Good thing Cancun is only like, three hours away. Spots a cute rugby player a few aisles down. Chats him up and discovers he’s staying with some buddies from home only a few blocks away! Excellent.

By Sally Wiebe

I have yet to meet the person who forgot to appreciate the witty humor of Knocked Up or the comical absurdity of Superbad. If someone reading this wants to argue that neither movie was funny, then I challenge them to watch the one televised season of “ Freaks and Geeks,” a talented dramatic comedy manifesting nearly every element of your high school, particularly the elements you may have wanted to put behind you.

The worst and best part about “Freaks and Geeks” is that the show only ran for one season before NBC took it off the air, but more recently it has carried a considerable cult following. I heard about the show by word-of-mouth, when a close friend of mine described it as, “The best unrecognized show that was once on TV.” When I want to get someone interested in the show I explain that it showcases everything exciting and depressing about high school — all the while making you laugh.

By Peter Casasa-Blouin

Lupe Fiasco’s second solo album, “The Cool” was released recently and stirred the hip-hop world much like his debut — “Food and Liquor.” His lyricism shines through in this album as he sings between different worlds of hip-hop and society generally. By prefacing this album with a poem called “Baba Says Cool for Thought,” he sets the stakes high for what follows. Read by Iesha Jaco, this poem is a scathing criticism of the mindless atrocities that shape the culture of fear in America.