Tri-Factor: The Spring Breaker

Published March 4, 2008

Tri-factor partierA day in the life of Katie McDevitt
Written by Anya Brodrick, Illustration by Alexander Whitehead

This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics.

8:30 am: Can’t wait to go to fuckin’ Cancun. Granted, her mom could only get her an early flight (and only a three star hotel, ugggggh) but hey, this means she has more time to driiiink when she gets there

9:15 am: One last chance to use her fake on the plane: orders a bloody mary. The altitude makes the alcohol work faster too.

11:15 am: Good thing Cancun is only like, three hours away. Spots a cute rugby player a few aisles down. Chats him up and discovers he’s staying with some buddies from home only a few blocks away! Excellent.

12 pm: Gets off the plane, a beautiful Cancun afternoon ahead. Checks into the hotel, meets up with her friend from boarding school. Can’t believe they’ve finally both made it! Unpack numerous halter tops, booty shorts, and 18 bathing suits (each). Raid the mini-bar.

2:30 pm: Slather on oil by the pool. Only twenty minutes have gone by and she is that perfectly wrinkled shade of orange, finally her real tan will match her fake tan. Spots the rugby player and his friends- they make plans to meet up later.

3:45 pm: Cat nap back in the room-they gotta get their rest for all the dancin’ later tonight.

6:30 pm: Order room service. give the cute Mexican busboy a big tip-perhaps he’ll ‘return the favor?’

7:45 pm: Only halfway into doing their hair/applying make up/adjusting tube tops.

9 pm: Finally ready to hit the clubs. Can’t wait to get a margarita at Hard Rock City and some more tequila shots at Señor Frogs — gotta love those uniquely Mexican places!

10:30 pm: Making out with the rugby player from the plane, but honestly, he is a terrible kisser. Not enough tongue! Eyes his curly haired friend who returns the eye.

10:45 pm: Making out with the curly haired friend. Too much tongue. Maybe the cute Mexican busboy?

12:16 am: Back at the hotel and the busboy is totally a perfect kisser.

8:26 am: Kicks the busboy out of her bed-doesn’t he have to go to work!?!? Hits the snooze again and can’t wait to see what her second day of spring break will bring her.

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