The Shit List

Published March 25, 2008

By Mac Smith

1. Osama Bin Laden-

That’s right. Osama has a new home movie. This time aimed at the European Union for siding with the United States in its operations in Afghanistan. Look, man, we may have given up on finding you, but you DON’T want to incur the wrath of the Swedes. Especially not around Easter.

2. Body Part Insurance-

Jennifer Lopez’s ass is insured for $27 million. Sir Tom Jones’ chest hair is insured for $6.9 million. Mariah Carey’s legs are insured for $1 billion. There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there are overpaid, no talent dickheads.

3. Robert Echeverria-

Posing as Robert Kennedy, this guy and a couple of friends filmed themselves scamming a Del Taco to get about $15 worth of free food and put it on Youtube. They now face a maximum seven years in prison. There’s the difference between people who get caught and people who don’t. O.J. never put anything on Youtube and look at him. He’s a free man.

4. Frederick William Boyle-

Boyle will serve 21 years for killing his wife, putting the body in a sack, and keeping it in a drum. For 23 years. To this day he pleads innocent, and says that he kept her in the drum because he loved her. Why don’t we have more people like this writing our horror movies? I think the movie industry needs to rethink their direction if they think they can come out with “Saw V.”

5. Elliot Spitzer-

Yeah, you guessed it. The former Governor of New York resigned over Spring Break after it was uncovered that he had been giving large amounts of money to the prostitution service “Emperors Club VIP” and call girls that go for $1,000 an hour. There’s no punch line. The whole situation is as funny as it is sad.

Print This Article

Comments