News In Brief

Published April 1, 2008

By Max C. Bookman

“Basically every continent including Antarctica had some involvement.”

—Earth Hour organizer Greg Bourne, joyfully touting the results of Earth Hour 2008. Because our hyperactive generation has absolutely no time for day-long annoyances like Earth Day, Earth Hour organizers have given us a green alternative that requires far less commitment. Over the weekend, people, businesses, and governments across the globe turned off their lights for 60 minutes to celebrate how environmentally conscious they are. Antarctica’s involvement? Another ice sheet the size of Rhode Island broke into the ocean last week. WT suggests: Earth Year?

“I’m trying to stay out of it.”

—Democratic celebrity and former Vice President Al Gore, ending speculation that he may be called on to broker a deal at the Democratic National Convention between bloodied Senators Obama and Clinton, even possibly leading a Gore-Obama ticket against Senator John McCain. In an interview on Sunday, Gore laughed off the suggestions, focusing attention on his campaign for action on global warming. Gorebama? Now that’s Change you can believe in.

“Everything will be in ashes, not just a sea of fire.”

—Harsh warnings from a North Korean military official, regarding the outcome that a pre-emptive strike would have against the South. The words are part of a weekend-long string of violent rhetoric from the isolated Communist nation in response to newly-elected South Korean President Lee Myung-bak’s hard-line position towards the North.

“Anyone can stay here.”

—An employee at the Ambos Mundos Hotel in Havana, Cuba, discussing the government’s new lift on long-standing restrictions that barred Cubans from staying at hotels reserved for tourists only. New President Raul Castro has also removed bans on the sale of cell phones, computers, microwaves, and DVD players in a series of announcements that began last week. They may be dirt poor and lack any political rights, but at least they can now watch the entire third season of Lost on DVD!

“We announce our disavowal from anyone who carries weapons and targets government institutions.”

—Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr, calling on his followers to stop the brutal fighting with Iraqi security forces in Basra over the past weekend that has left upwards of 500 dead. The mission to quell Basra had been hailed as one of the first major tests of the new Iraqi Army — until American troops had to step in. Al-Sadr only called for the ceasefire after some undisclosed political intervention from Iran. Surge that, G-Dubs.

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