The Shit List

Published April 1, 2008

By Mac Smith

1. Hillary Clinton- Hillary’s been called out by various television and radio news programs because she’s been telling a story about landing in Bosnia under sniper fire and having to run to her car with her body armor on. Almost everyone on that flight has said that her account is untrue. There are even videos of her standing outside of the plane hugging a little Bosnian girl. WTF Hillary. Your taking a page out of the Bush Playbook really can’t be the beginning of a healthy relationship.

2. UVMPD- In 48 hours, nine laptop computers and two bags with credit cards in them were stolen from Harris-Millis. UVMPD actually had an opportunity to catch the thieves, but when it appeared that they hadn’t been engaging in underage drinking and/or illegal substance use, they were let go.

3. Joshua Mauldin-  Mauldin’s just been sentenced to 25 years in prison for putting his baby daughter in a microwave and turning it on for 20 seconds. Dude. Those dead baby jokes are just jokes, you sick fuck.

4. Dale and Leilani Neumann- Instead of seeking medical attention for their daughter with diabetes, they prayed for her. As her condition worsened, they got more people to pray for her. The unsurprising part: the girl died. The surprising part: the government is going to let these morons keep custody of the Neumanns’ two other kids. I’d pray for them but something tells me it won’t work.

5. Mike Gravel- Gravel has decided to leave the Democratic Party and join up with the Libertarian Party, accusing Democrats of “working in tandem with the corporate interests that control what we read and hear in the media.” He explained it all in his second Youtube video, where he stared silently into the camera and, instead of throwing a rock into a pond, proceeded to punch a donkey in the face. He then walked away for an extended period of time.

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