The Water Tower Guide to Spring

Published April 15, 2008

By Mac Smith

We’ve done it! Due to a consistent temperature above 35 degrees, the snow has finally melted and we can now see the ground for the first time in six months. These and other meteorological indicators point to one fact: it’s springtime once again in Burlington. Although the sun is still MIA and there aren’t any buds on the trees, UVMers embrace their spring and tailor it in their own right with activities usually deemed impossible during the harsh winter. So put your winter jackets away and hit up these hot spots! There are only three weeks left of class…

The time to get out of the dorms is now. Most of your friends from home already have a three-week headstart on you.

North Beach
North beach is the perfect excuse (and venue) to get offensively drunk on a Tuesday afternoon, rip the hookah, and grill up some burgers and dogs with your school-mates. Don’t be alarmed by the fact that you may see that hot girl from Econ in nothing but a skimpy bikini. It’s all part of the experience. But please, no bottles, otherwise the old guys who “work” there will kick you out. Plus, a rack of Natty is much more affordable.

Red Rocks
The cliffs at Red Rocks are no after-school special. This is where UVM men and women come to test the size of their balls against the daunting 76-foot jump straight into freshly thawed Lake Champlain water. Don’t come here if you think humiliation at your expense is likely. Plus, for inexperienced jumpers the activity can quickly devolve from a fun passing of time to an unnecessary visit to the hospital. I mean, there are smaller cliffs, which are fun too…I guess.

Montreal
Montreal is a mecca for any college student conveniently located two hours south of 18+ drinking, gambling, and strippers. A weekend trip to Montréal is considered a springtime activity because for every person who thinks Burlington gets cold, there’s a Québécois motherfucker with a hockey stick ready to knock you out for being so dumb.

The Waterfront
Take a run down College Street to the Waterfront. Skip a few rocks. Walk your dog. Soak in the sun. Then call a cab to get back up that fucking hill.

Church Street
Ah, Church Street, the epicenter of social life in the state of Vermont. During the spring, all the pleasantries of Church Street come into full focus. Roving bands of young townies camp out in front of the mall. The Ralph Nader guy comes out of hibernation. But beyond that, Church Street offers a welcome chance to get outside and help revitalize our economy!

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