News in Brief

Published April 29, 2008

By Max C. Bookman

“So what’s next after Pennsylvania?”

-CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer last Tuesday, as it became clear that Hillary Clinton was to win the Pennsylvania Democratic primary, breathing life into her protracted presidential campaign once again. The mainstream news media has profited heavily from this unprecedented nomination battle between Clinton and Obama, setting up each primary as a uniquely consequential, and wasting no time to stoke the fires for the next state. Well, the WT is sick of it. Thank God this is our last issue of the year – hopefully when we return in September, there will be some new news to report.

“They killed Sean all over again.”

-Nicole Bell, fiancé of the late Sean Bell, an unarmed man who was shot dead on the night of his wedding in 2006 by five undercover NYPD officers who shot a total of fifty bullets. The officers were acquitted of all charges last week, sparking outrage in the African-American community, who saw the incident as a clear example of police brutality targeted against blacks. Perhaps UVM police should show the NYPD a thing or two about Tasers.

“I don’t think I should take any shit from anybody on that, do you?”

-The breathtakingly eloquent former President Bill Clinton, last week on Philadelphia’s WHYY Radio. Mr. Clinton, who had just finished an interview in which he defended himself against claims of using “the race card” against Barack Obama, was unknowingly still being recorded when he let his mouth slip. Again. WT thinks we’re all a little tired of your shit, Mr. President.

“For twenty-seven days we have lived comfortably.”

-Pakistani Ambassador to Afghanistan Tariq Azizuddin, speaking on a video released last week on an Arab satellite channel. The video confirms that the ambassador, who has been missing for some time, was kidnapped by Taliban militants. Remember the Taliban? Well, they haven’t forgotten us. Since September 11th, the United States have been unable to completely uproot those responsible for harboring Al-Qaeda from the still lawless parts of Pakistan. Coverage of the war in Afghanistan has been largely overshadowed by Iraq, but trust us, the war’s not over. Just ask Mr. Azizuddin.

“We had certainly told President Carter that we did not think meeting with Hamas was going to help.”

-Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, icily reacting to former President Jimmy Carter’s trip to the Middle East last week to speak with leaders of the terrorist organization Hamas, the ruling party of the Palistiniean Authority. Carter, who has been very visible in his post-presidency, has been at odds with the Bush administration before, as he is a vocal critic of President Bush, especially his lack of leadership in the Israel-Palestine peace process.

Print This Article

Comments