Tri-Factor: April UVM Student / June ING Employee

Published April 29, 2008

Pre-gradA day in the life of Henry Toykles III

By Anya Brodrick, Illustrations by Alexander Whitehead
This section deconstructs the styles of today. The tripartite nature of the section demonstrates the intersection of image-word-mathematics.

Pre-Grad Day:

10:00 am: Slept through class (again). Whatever, he’s graduating soon.

Pre-grad equation

10:22 am: Watches Flight of the Conchords from bed. Man, that’s a great show.

11:45 am: Decides to get out of a bed and head to campus (barefoot). He’s got one last senior seminar that he would love to skip out on, but again…graduating is precedent.

2:30 pm: Smokes in front of the library, looking at everyone enjoying their college years and realises that he will never get to do this again. Gets jealous of those young bastards.

5:45 pm: One last bittersweet smoke/sunset session on Williams fire-escape.

PostgradPost-Grad Day:

7:00 am: Blaring alarm wakes him up. Shit, can’t really sleep through work…

7:29 am: Cuts himself shaving–nine times.

8:30 am: Hops on the city bus to head to his paralegal [in training] position at super-duper-conglom lawfirm.

10:45 am: Tries to check his Facebook profile secretly while he has some downtime and immediately gets a memo saying that ‘personal’ websites can only be accessed during lunch hours.

12:15 pm: Dying for a midday blunt, but needs to establish some semblance of motivation before he can go to work high.

2:30 pm: Wonders why women in business suits on TV are so hot, but in real life they’re really not.

5:00 pm: Sweated through his new shirt, tie and jacket combo. As soon as he gets home, he starts researching grad schools, or even better yet, getting a second bachelors.

postgrad equation



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